Saturday, April 27, 2002
Rest In Peace
I'm not usually the type of person that discusses things like this. I always feel like if I show remorse over something such as this that it could be seen as me trying to capitalize on a tragic circumstance. Since I'm always the type of guy that's concerned with what people think of him, I tend to avoid situations like this so that people don't view me as a poser. Well, I've decided that's dumb...I have feelings to express, I know that I'm not capitalizing on the tragedy, so I don't really give a flying crap what anybody thinks...
Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. It's always such a tragedy when someone so young, with so much to offer the world, dies so tragically. It's almost like a wake-up call for a lot of people...it sorta makes you realize that you're invulnerable, despite your physical strength, beauty, or social status. Now, granted, I'm no devoted fan...I've never been to a TLC concert, I don't own a TLC poster, I'm not a member of their fan club...hell, I only own one of their CDs. Nevertheless, this really kinda hit home with me. Even though I wasn't a huge fan, I still enjoyed their music...I recognized the fact that they had much talent and appreciated a lot of the lyrics from their songs. And even though I wasn't a fan, I knew many people who were. I distinctly remember sitting in my friend's dorm room during my junior year of high school and jamming to "No Scrubs" and "Unpretty" (which the lyrics always struck a chord with me, by the way).
Now, I'm not gonna sit here and boo hoo my way through this post, giving you all the impression that my life has been changed by this tragedy...because, honestly, it hasn't. I'm still the same guy that I was two or three days ago...I'm still gonna wake up every morning and take on the day's challenges with the same amount of energy. I haven't found some rejuvenated appreciation for life. And I'm not going to think twice about it when I'm late for class and speeding down the highway. Whatever happens, it happens for a reason...so being overly worried about fate and destiny will do nothing for me. The only point of this post is to express the fact that I was touched by this woman's life, however indirect the touch was. It just sucks that her death made me realize that she was, indeed, a small fractional part of my life. So yeah, I guess that's it.
I'm not usually the type of person that discusses things like this. I always feel like if I show remorse over something such as this that it could be seen as me trying to capitalize on a tragic circumstance. Since I'm always the type of guy that's concerned with what people think of him, I tend to avoid situations like this so that people don't view me as a poser. Well, I've decided that's dumb...I have feelings to express, I know that I'm not capitalizing on the tragedy, so I don't really give a flying crap what anybody thinks...
Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. It's always such a tragedy when someone so young, with so much to offer the world, dies so tragically. It's almost like a wake-up call for a lot of people...it sorta makes you realize that you're invulnerable, despite your physical strength, beauty, or social status. Now, granted, I'm no devoted fan...I've never been to a TLC concert, I don't own a TLC poster, I'm not a member of their fan club...hell, I only own one of their CDs. Nevertheless, this really kinda hit home with me. Even though I wasn't a huge fan, I still enjoyed their music...I recognized the fact that they had much talent and appreciated a lot of the lyrics from their songs. And even though I wasn't a fan, I knew many people who were. I distinctly remember sitting in my friend's dorm room during my junior year of high school and jamming to "No Scrubs" and "Unpretty" (which the lyrics always struck a chord with me, by the way).
Now, I'm not gonna sit here and boo hoo my way through this post, giving you all the impression that my life has been changed by this tragedy...because, honestly, it hasn't. I'm still the same guy that I was two or three days ago...I'm still gonna wake up every morning and take on the day's challenges with the same amount of energy. I haven't found some rejuvenated appreciation for life. And I'm not going to think twice about it when I'm late for class and speeding down the highway. Whatever happens, it happens for a reason...so being overly worried about fate and destiny will do nothing for me. The only point of this post is to express the fact that I was touched by this woman's life, however indirect the touch was. It just sucks that her death made me realize that she was, indeed, a small fractional part of my life. So yeah, I guess that's it.
Thursday, April 25, 2002
Epiphany
So, I think I've finally figured out how life works...and here comes my new whacked-out view of it. Just when you think you've figured everything out...when things can't possibly go all unpredictable on you because you've got everything all worked and planned out...life throws you that big-ass curveball when you're expecting one right over the plate. Or you expect life to punch you in the gut, so you tense up and get all prepared for it...then at the last minute, it decides to kick you in the teeth instead. Right, I made my point...life's unpredictable. Yes, I'm just figuring this out now...after 18 (almost 19) years of existence, I'm just figuring this crap out...I know, I'm the poster child for naivete.
The funny thing is...I've always thought of myself as a person who just really despised unpredictability. I like to know how and when things are going to go, no matter what. Or that's at least how I once thought...and let's just say I've had an epiphany. I'm starting to like this unpredictable stuff...if only unpredictability was always so pleasant. Usually, it comes to me in the form of obscure car problems, health issues, or other bad circumstances...now it's becoming something pleasant and pretty darn nice.
Bet you all wanna know what was so unpredictable, dontcha? Well, guess what? I'm gonna go with the flow of this unpredictable stuff and be unpredictable myself...so nyah nyah, I'm not telling!
So, I think I've finally figured out how life works...and here comes my new whacked-out view of it. Just when you think you've figured everything out...when things can't possibly go all unpredictable on you because you've got everything all worked and planned out...life throws you that big-ass curveball when you're expecting one right over the plate. Or you expect life to punch you in the gut, so you tense up and get all prepared for it...then at the last minute, it decides to kick you in the teeth instead. Right, I made my point...life's unpredictable. Yes, I'm just figuring this out now...after 18 (almost 19) years of existence, I'm just figuring this crap out...I know, I'm the poster child for naivete.
The funny thing is...I've always thought of myself as a person who just really despised unpredictability. I like to know how and when things are going to go, no matter what. Or that's at least how I once thought...and let's just say I've had an epiphany. I'm starting to like this unpredictable stuff...if only unpredictability was always so pleasant. Usually, it comes to me in the form of obscure car problems, health issues, or other bad circumstances...now it's becoming something pleasant and pretty darn nice.
Bet you all wanna know what was so unpredictable, dontcha? Well, guess what? I'm gonna go with the flow of this unpredictable stuff and be unpredictable myself...so nyah nyah, I'm not telling!
Sunday, April 21, 2002
A Confessed Crush
I made a plan that I believed was full-proof and smart in theory. I planned to quit my job soon for something that payed me just a bit more...and after I quit, I planned on telling my Sexy Supervisor about my mad crush on him. I had it all planned out entirely to the point of romance and sweetness...and in a perfect world, my plan would have gone over great. At the very least, I'd have a better job and I wouldn't have to continue hiding my true feelings for this stud. Yes, I called him a stud...I don't care, no word is cheesy when it comes to describing him. And at the most, he would tell me that he thinks of me the same way, that he always has...and that he wants to make something special with me and fall in love with me and treat me right and make me the happiest guy on the face of the earth. Yeah, that was the ideal dream, at least...
...and this world is far from perfect or ideal. The Sexy Supervisor beat me to the punch. Alas, no, he didn't reveal any feelings to me about being madly in love with me...wouldn't that have made for such a great plot twist though? But nope...turns out, he was promoted at his other job and no longer needed to work at this one. Needless to say, when I found out about this, I was crushed. It didn't quite hit me at first...the only things that came to mind were selfish things about who would be replacing him or who I would spend my time drooling over now. It wasn't until after I spoke with him on the phone and went into the bathroom that I realized how much this really sucked...first of all, I was on the verge of tears because I was never going to work with him again...yes, I know, corny much? Second of all, this totally ruined my plan to confess my love for him...now what was I going to do?
Well, I sulked the rest of the night at work...everyone kept asking me what was wrong, but I didn't really want to out myself to them by saying that I was madly in love with our former supervisor. So, sulking is what I stuck to. Later on that night, just a few minutes before I clocked out, I was debating on whether or not I should just call the Sexy Former Supervisor and confess my love to him then. What did I really have to lose? He didn't work with me any more and I'd probably never see him again...why not just tell him so that I can feel better and not have to carry this weight on my shoulders any longer?
So, I called him...and things didn't go exactly how I would have liked them to. Before calling him, I went over my dialogue about a million times in my head...but of course, these things can't be scripted. As soon as he answered the phone and I heard his voice, my mind pretty much went blank. I ended up telling him how I felt...probably in the most non-descriptive and boring way ever. All the wonderful, sweet, flattering remarks that I intended to make were completely lost in the back of my mind somewhere...and all that came out of my mouth was a bumbling, nervous mess. Nonetheless, he told me he was extremely flattered and that I had made his day by telling him this. Also, I was a wonderfully sweet guy and given better circumstances, he might consider making something out of my little crush. But alas, he's seeing someone.
At this point, I'm not quite sure if his words were entirely true. I don't doubt that he was flattered...and if he wasn't, at least he was nice enough to lie about it. But I can't help but wonder if his words were true about if he had been single...would he have really given me a chance or was he just trying to make me feel better? Nonetheless, we talked a bit more about some casual stuff and he promised to keep in touch with me and visit me at work. I've still dreamt about having some sort of storybook or movie-type ending to this...he calls me up a few days later or we bump into each other somewhere...he tells me that he's thought a lot about everything I told him...and he's realized that he does want to be with me, that I'd treat him better than anyone else could, and that I'd never do him wrong. And finally, after I got over the initial shock of all this, we'd kiss. It'd be just like in the movies, with such passion and emotion...and then we'd walk away into the sunset to begin our new life together...
Hey, it could happen...
I made a plan that I believed was full-proof and smart in theory. I planned to quit my job soon for something that payed me just a bit more...and after I quit, I planned on telling my Sexy Supervisor about my mad crush on him. I had it all planned out entirely to the point of romance and sweetness...and in a perfect world, my plan would have gone over great. At the very least, I'd have a better job and I wouldn't have to continue hiding my true feelings for this stud. Yes, I called him a stud...I don't care, no word is cheesy when it comes to describing him. And at the most, he would tell me that he thinks of me the same way, that he always has...and that he wants to make something special with me and fall in love with me and treat me right and make me the happiest guy on the face of the earth. Yeah, that was the ideal dream, at least...
...and this world is far from perfect or ideal. The Sexy Supervisor beat me to the punch. Alas, no, he didn't reveal any feelings to me about being madly in love with me...wouldn't that have made for such a great plot twist though? But nope...turns out, he was promoted at his other job and no longer needed to work at this one. Needless to say, when I found out about this, I was crushed. It didn't quite hit me at first...the only things that came to mind were selfish things about who would be replacing him or who I would spend my time drooling over now. It wasn't until after I spoke with him on the phone and went into the bathroom that I realized how much this really sucked...first of all, I was on the verge of tears because I was never going to work with him again...yes, I know, corny much? Second of all, this totally ruined my plan to confess my love for him...now what was I going to do?
Well, I sulked the rest of the night at work...everyone kept asking me what was wrong, but I didn't really want to out myself to them by saying that I was madly in love with our former supervisor. So, sulking is what I stuck to. Later on that night, just a few minutes before I clocked out, I was debating on whether or not I should just call the Sexy Former Supervisor and confess my love to him then. What did I really have to lose? He didn't work with me any more and I'd probably never see him again...why not just tell him so that I can feel better and not have to carry this weight on my shoulders any longer?
So, I called him...and things didn't go exactly how I would have liked them to. Before calling him, I went over my dialogue about a million times in my head...but of course, these things can't be scripted. As soon as he answered the phone and I heard his voice, my mind pretty much went blank. I ended up telling him how I felt...probably in the most non-descriptive and boring way ever. All the wonderful, sweet, flattering remarks that I intended to make were completely lost in the back of my mind somewhere...and all that came out of my mouth was a bumbling, nervous mess. Nonetheless, he told me he was extremely flattered and that I had made his day by telling him this. Also, I was a wonderfully sweet guy and given better circumstances, he might consider making something out of my little crush. But alas, he's seeing someone.
At this point, I'm not quite sure if his words were entirely true. I don't doubt that he was flattered...and if he wasn't, at least he was nice enough to lie about it. But I can't help but wonder if his words were true about if he had been single...would he have really given me a chance or was he just trying to make me feel better? Nonetheless, we talked a bit more about some casual stuff and he promised to keep in touch with me and visit me at work. I've still dreamt about having some sort of storybook or movie-type ending to this...he calls me up a few days later or we bump into each other somewhere...he tells me that he's thought a lot about everything I told him...and he's realized that he does want to be with me, that I'd treat him better than anyone else could, and that I'd never do him wrong. And finally, after I got over the initial shock of all this, we'd kiss. It'd be just like in the movies, with such passion and emotion...and then we'd walk away into the sunset to begin our new life together...
Hey, it could happen...
Tuesday, April 16, 2002
Problems
I'm in a mood. Ever been tired of something...but then, you're too lazy to make a real attempt to change it? That's how I am about a lot of things right now. What's the one thing I'm the most tired of? Being single. Yes, I will be the first to admit, it has its advantages...but then, it sucks. It's so friggin' lonely! I mean, I wish I could be single and be content with it...but for some reason, I feel that I need a relationship to have some sort of validation in life. Okay, so that's the problem that I'm tired of, being single...but what am I doing about it? Am I getting out there and being more social in an attempt to meet new people? No. Am I letting friends set me up on dates? Ha, hell no. Am I scouring around chat rooms or web personals searching for Mr. Right? Not so much. I know that I'm one of the pickiest people when it comes to guys, so I'm just saving myself from wasting my time...the only thing that club outings or being set up or searching personal ads will accomplish is to make me realize that there is just no Mr. Right for me out there.
Well, maybe that's not entirely true...there's definitely a Mr. Right out there for me. Yup, that's right, the Sexy Superior at work (who, by the way, gets cuter and sexier each and every day). He's definitely perfect for me and I'm madly in love with him...but alas, I'm far from his Mr. Perfect. First of all, looks? He could definitely get much better than me. Personality? I don't think I'm outgoing enough for him. And interests? Ha, we couldn't be any more different as far as our likes and dislikes. So I guess he isn't exactly Mr. Right...but hell, I'll never have him, so why not fantasize about him being my Mr. Perfect?
So anyway, another problem that I'm too lazy to fix: job. I hate my current job so very much...but I've gotten so accustomed to the routine that I hate having to start a new one. Does that make sense? It's kinda like a pair of jeans...you get them to a point where they're so very comfortable that you don't want to get another pair to break in. That probably doesn't make much sense either, but oh well. The main reason for my wanting to get a new job is because I don't make didley squat at this one. Get this...I make minimum wage, I work three days a week, and get a maximum amount of twelve hours a week. What do my checks come out to be? The largest I've had so far is sixty dollars. Yes, sixty. How am I expected to survive on that??
Next problem: school. My grades are starting to slip a bit. Not drastically or anything, just a bit. Basically, I don't spend enough time studying like I used to. The sad thing is that I'll sit and bitch about the fact that I made a bad grade, but I'll make no conscious effort to change my studying habits...I'll just blame it on the fact that the test had too much material covered on it or that the questions were completely off-the-wall and difficult. Whatever, I'm just a slacker...
Oh well, I've got the new Sheryl Crow CD and everything will be ok in the end, I suppose...
I'm in a mood. Ever been tired of something...but then, you're too lazy to make a real attempt to change it? That's how I am about a lot of things right now. What's the one thing I'm the most tired of? Being single. Yes, I will be the first to admit, it has its advantages...but then, it sucks. It's so friggin' lonely! I mean, I wish I could be single and be content with it...but for some reason, I feel that I need a relationship to have some sort of validation in life. Okay, so that's the problem that I'm tired of, being single...but what am I doing about it? Am I getting out there and being more social in an attempt to meet new people? No. Am I letting friends set me up on dates? Ha, hell no. Am I scouring around chat rooms or web personals searching for Mr. Right? Not so much. I know that I'm one of the pickiest people when it comes to guys, so I'm just saving myself from wasting my time...the only thing that club outings or being set up or searching personal ads will accomplish is to make me realize that there is just no Mr. Right for me out there.
Well, maybe that's not entirely true...there's definitely a Mr. Right out there for me. Yup, that's right, the Sexy Superior at work (who, by the way, gets cuter and sexier each and every day). He's definitely perfect for me and I'm madly in love with him...but alas, I'm far from his Mr. Perfect. First of all, looks? He could definitely get much better than me. Personality? I don't think I'm outgoing enough for him. And interests? Ha, we couldn't be any more different as far as our likes and dislikes. So I guess he isn't exactly Mr. Right...but hell, I'll never have him, so why not fantasize about him being my Mr. Perfect?
So anyway, another problem that I'm too lazy to fix: job. I hate my current job so very much...but I've gotten so accustomed to the routine that I hate having to start a new one. Does that make sense? It's kinda like a pair of jeans...you get them to a point where they're so very comfortable that you don't want to get another pair to break in. That probably doesn't make much sense either, but oh well. The main reason for my wanting to get a new job is because I don't make didley squat at this one. Get this...I make minimum wage, I work three days a week, and get a maximum amount of twelve hours a week. What do my checks come out to be? The largest I've had so far is sixty dollars. Yes, sixty. How am I expected to survive on that??
Next problem: school. My grades are starting to slip a bit. Not drastically or anything, just a bit. Basically, I don't spend enough time studying like I used to. The sad thing is that I'll sit and bitch about the fact that I made a bad grade, but I'll make no conscious effort to change my studying habits...I'll just blame it on the fact that the test had too much material covered on it or that the questions were completely off-the-wall and difficult. Whatever, I'm just a slacker...
Oh well, I've got the new Sheryl Crow CD and everything will be ok in the end, I suppose...
Thursday, April 11, 2002
Randomness
Currently in heavy rotation in the CD Player...
The Goo Goo Dolls ~ "Gutterflower"
Mary J. Blige ~ "No More Drama"
Vanessa Carlton ~ "A Thousand Miles" CD single (with awesome extra track "Twilight")
I have this list of women who I'd go straight for...I've added and removed so many people from the list since I started it, but here's where I think it's currently at: Sarah McLachlan (my goddess), Sheryl Crow, Faith Hill, Michelle Pfeiffer, Meg Ryan, Elisabeth from Survivor: The Australian Outback, Gina from Survivor: Marquesas, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Tara Reid(I love her scratchy little voice), Cameron Diaz, Kirsten Dunst, Maura Tierney, and Ashley Judd. After watching "Serendipity" last night, I'm adding Kate Beckinsdale to the list. Why? She's gorgeous, has a killer bod, and the cutest little British accent in the world. I'm also thinking of putting Drew Barrymore back on the list now that she and Tom Green are over...
My eyebrow is in so much pain. It really hurts when I'm driving along and I hit a big bump in the road...and since Shanequa is out of commission, I had to drive my dad's car to get dinner tonight. Why's this bad? Well, dad's car has really bad shocks...so every bump felt like a mountain and I couldn't help but wince in pain. And also, the barbell got caught on a loose thread while changing shirts tonight...ouch, that's all I have to say.
I think that it's in my destiny to become fat. First, I make a resolution to start working out, get rid of the little gut I have forming, and get in better shape. But, then I'm punished by having to suffer through Valentine's Day AND Easter, all within less than two months. Everytime I start to make progress with my workouts, I start packing on the pounds with all the various chocolate whore holidays. Grrr...and then, for the past couple of days, I haven't even BEEN ABLE to work out because every single time I get ready to start my run, the bottom falls out of the sky and it starts to rain. The elements are giving me a sign, I'm telling you...
I stopped making my weekly picks for Survivor because I was so embarassed of being wrong so much. But, I so shoulda posted my picks for tonight's episode because I was right about everything! I'll admit, pretty much half of the internet spoiling world made the same picks...but hey, I predicted it last week! Ha! I'm so glad that the Robfather is gone...his accent was just starting to get on my damn nerves. And high fives to Kathy for pulling out that immunity win. And while I'm on the subject of TV, could The Osbournes be any better? Man, I don't think so...side-splitting funny, dude! There is no show on TV that makes me laugh as hard...except maybe my daily dose of Mad About You reruns.
Adding Helen Hunt to the list...can't believe I left her out!
Currently in heavy rotation in the CD Player...
The Goo Goo Dolls ~ "Gutterflower"
Mary J. Blige ~ "No More Drama"
Vanessa Carlton ~ "A Thousand Miles" CD single (with awesome extra track "Twilight")
I have this list of women who I'd go straight for...I've added and removed so many people from the list since I started it, but here's where I think it's currently at: Sarah McLachlan (my goddess), Sheryl Crow, Faith Hill, Michelle Pfeiffer, Meg Ryan, Elisabeth from Survivor: The Australian Outback, Gina from Survivor: Marquesas, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jennifer Aniston, Halle Berry, Tara Reid(I love her scratchy little voice), Cameron Diaz, Kirsten Dunst, Maura Tierney, and Ashley Judd. After watching "Serendipity" last night, I'm adding Kate Beckinsdale to the list. Why? She's gorgeous, has a killer bod, and the cutest little British accent in the world. I'm also thinking of putting Drew Barrymore back on the list now that she and Tom Green are over...
My eyebrow is in so much pain. It really hurts when I'm driving along and I hit a big bump in the road...and since Shanequa is out of commission, I had to drive my dad's car to get dinner tonight. Why's this bad? Well, dad's car has really bad shocks...so every bump felt like a mountain and I couldn't help but wince in pain. And also, the barbell got caught on a loose thread while changing shirts tonight...ouch, that's all I have to say.
I think that it's in my destiny to become fat. First, I make a resolution to start working out, get rid of the little gut I have forming, and get in better shape. But, then I'm punished by having to suffer through Valentine's Day AND Easter, all within less than two months. Everytime I start to make progress with my workouts, I start packing on the pounds with all the various chocolate whore holidays. Grrr...and then, for the past couple of days, I haven't even BEEN ABLE to work out because every single time I get ready to start my run, the bottom falls out of the sky and it starts to rain. The elements are giving me a sign, I'm telling you...
I stopped making my weekly picks for Survivor because I was so embarassed of being wrong so much. But, I so shoulda posted my picks for tonight's episode because I was right about everything! I'll admit, pretty much half of the internet spoiling world made the same picks...but hey, I predicted it last week! Ha! I'm so glad that the Robfather is gone...his accent was just starting to get on my damn nerves. And high fives to Kathy for pulling out that immunity win. And while I'm on the subject of TV, could The Osbournes be any better? Man, I don't think so...side-splitting funny, dude! There is no show on TV that makes me laugh as hard...except maybe my daily dose of Mad About You reruns.
Adding Helen Hunt to the list...can't believe I left her out!
Shanequa Hates Me
...and the feeling is mutual. Last night, Shanequa once again died on me...wanna know where at this time? The Winn Dixie Warehouse. As I was driving to my friend's house, she started slowing down and the accelerator would not work. Suddenly, the power steering gave out...so I had to make a quick decision about where to pull over: Winn Dixie Warehouse or driveway of some strange person? Being the nice person that I am, I didn't want to wake this strange person up at almost 11:00 at night...so, I chose the Winn Dixie Warehouse. Ha, big mistake.
Shanequa is completely dead at this point and my friend helps me guide her into a mostly-empty truck lot. Now, keep in mind that out of approximately 75 spaces, there is one whole space being at used at this point. After speaking with my dad, he tells me to leave a note on the dashboard that says we'll be back in a few hours to figure out what to do. We push Shanequa into the farthest space in the lot, leave the note, and go about our merry little way.
At about 6:30 this morning, my dad goes to check things out and see if he can figure out Shanequa's problem. But wait, guess what? Shanequa's not there anymore!! Yes, that's right, they towed her. 8 hours of sitting in the very back of a parking lot, minding her own business and not bothering anyone...and she gets towed. My dad is quite pissed about this and throws a temper tantrum. After calming down a bit, he finds out that the security guard that took it upon himself to have it towed is no longer on duty...so, unfortunately, my dad doesn't get the opportunity to kick the butthole's ass (oh, and he woulda...he so woulda).
We drive over to the lot where Shanequa is being held prisoner...my dad explains what happened to the folks and gets a little bit of sympathy from them. They reduce a lot of the fees for the towing, but can't reduce everything. Why? Well, guess what? The police were involved! Yes, that's right, the security guard didn't just get off on the fact that he was towing my car, but he also had to get the police involved. And since there's a police report and all, they still have to charge us for the towing fee of $123.
We left the towing place and my dad brought me back home. While he went to his mechanic friends to see if they could come with him to the towing lot to repair Shanequa, I went back to sleep. Personally, I'm hoping that the folks at the towing place have a mix-up and end up destroying my car instead of another. Doubtful, but hey, it could happen. At this point though, I have no idea what's going on with everything...and I honestly don't care. I told my dad this morning that I will have nothing to do with this car anymore. I've invested way too much money in her as it is and I refuse to invest anymore...and I think it may have opened my dad's eyes a little. He started discussing the possibility of getting me a new car, which would be so very awesome...
So very awesome, indeed...
...and the feeling is mutual. Last night, Shanequa once again died on me...wanna know where at this time? The Winn Dixie Warehouse. As I was driving to my friend's house, she started slowing down and the accelerator would not work. Suddenly, the power steering gave out...so I had to make a quick decision about where to pull over: Winn Dixie Warehouse or driveway of some strange person? Being the nice person that I am, I didn't want to wake this strange person up at almost 11:00 at night...so, I chose the Winn Dixie Warehouse. Ha, big mistake.
Shanequa is completely dead at this point and my friend helps me guide her into a mostly-empty truck lot. Now, keep in mind that out of approximately 75 spaces, there is one whole space being at used at this point. After speaking with my dad, he tells me to leave a note on the dashboard that says we'll be back in a few hours to figure out what to do. We push Shanequa into the farthest space in the lot, leave the note, and go about our merry little way.
At about 6:30 this morning, my dad goes to check things out and see if he can figure out Shanequa's problem. But wait, guess what? Shanequa's not there anymore!! Yes, that's right, they towed her. 8 hours of sitting in the very back of a parking lot, minding her own business and not bothering anyone...and she gets towed. My dad is quite pissed about this and throws a temper tantrum. After calming down a bit, he finds out that the security guard that took it upon himself to have it towed is no longer on duty...so, unfortunately, my dad doesn't get the opportunity to kick the butthole's ass (oh, and he woulda...he so woulda).
We drive over to the lot where Shanequa is being held prisoner...my dad explains what happened to the folks and gets a little bit of sympathy from them. They reduce a lot of the fees for the towing, but can't reduce everything. Why? Well, guess what? The police were involved! Yes, that's right, the security guard didn't just get off on the fact that he was towing my car, but he also had to get the police involved. And since there's a police report and all, they still have to charge us for the towing fee of $123.
We left the towing place and my dad brought me back home. While he went to his mechanic friends to see if they could come with him to the towing lot to repair Shanequa, I went back to sleep. Personally, I'm hoping that the folks at the towing place have a mix-up and end up destroying my car instead of another. Doubtful, but hey, it could happen. At this point though, I have no idea what's going on with everything...and I honestly don't care. I told my dad this morning that I will have nothing to do with this car anymore. I've invested way too much money in her as it is and I refuse to invest anymore...and I think it may have opened my dad's eyes a little. He started discussing the possibility of getting me a new car, which would be so very awesome...
So very awesome, indeed...
Monday, April 08, 2002
Ew
My friends and I took a trip to Houston this weekend. Fun was had by all...we went to Astroworld and...well, that was about it. Unless you count the fact that I got my eyebrow pierced as a monumental moment of the trip! I know I do...
Yeah, so I haven't exactly gotten the best reactions about it. My mother freaked, as would be expected...she's cool now, but she definitely has to adjust. My dad asked me why the hell I did it...I just didn't answer him. Three out of four of my teachers just looked at me and shook their heads...bitches. And a little girl tonight at work pointed at me and said, "Ew, mommy...he has an earring in his eye!"
Well, I spit in your pizza, you little slut...
My friends and I took a trip to Houston this weekend. Fun was had by all...we went to Astroworld and...well, that was about it. Unless you count the fact that I got my eyebrow pierced as a monumental moment of the trip! I know I do...
Yeah, so I haven't exactly gotten the best reactions about it. My mother freaked, as would be expected...she's cool now, but she definitely has to adjust. My dad asked me why the hell I did it...I just didn't answer him. Three out of four of my teachers just looked at me and shook their heads...bitches. And a little girl tonight at work pointed at me and said, "Ew, mommy...he has an earring in his eye!"
Well, I spit in your pizza, you little slut...
Thursday, April 04, 2002
It's Just Emotions
I don't even know where to start...but how about the fact that I'm a fool? If you're a regular here, you'll remember reading not too long ago about a certain schoolmate/roommate from my junior year of high school. If you're not a regular or you just don't remember, I had a super duper huge mega crush on the boy. Well, a few days ago, we were chatting online...I suddenly felt very brave and just completely came clean about my crush on him. I wasn't too sure, but it seemed almost as if there were returned mutual feelings.Well, tonight I got a chance to hang out with him for a bit...and boy, it was the most awkward situation I think I've ever been in. I was quiet and shy and reserved, which I never really acted around him in the past....I couldn't help it! Everything was just weird...I guess I had this bizarre notion that he would be the exact same way he was two years ago. But, people change...they grow and become different...and in his case, he's very much different. It's not a bad thing at all...it's just that I had no clue he had changed so much. He's still as sweet and definitely as cute as ever...but alas, I just couldn't be myself around him for some reason. All I know is that awkwardness is badness...and even if I wanted to and he wanted to, nothing could really work out between us. But in actuality, I think I'm actually not his type in any way, shape, or form...and this upsets me. I want to be his type! I want him to be my type! He's such an overall great guy and I would love to love to love him, you know?
I actually ended up bawling my eyes out on the way home...something about one of Michelle Branch's songs just really struck a chord with me. And once I started, I just couldn't stop. All the loneliness from the past couple of months just came rushing to the surface and all I could do was let it flow out of me. I thought that having a nice good cry would make me feel better, but it so didn't at all. The loneliness didn't just flow and wash away, it's still there...in fact, I'd say it's probably about a hundred times worse after tonight.
Ugh, I just don't know what to do with myself...
I don't even know where to start...but how about the fact that I'm a fool? If you're a regular here, you'll remember reading not too long ago about a certain schoolmate/roommate from my junior year of high school. If you're not a regular or you just don't remember, I had a super duper huge mega crush on the boy. Well, a few days ago, we were chatting online...I suddenly felt very brave and just completely came clean about my crush on him. I wasn't too sure, but it seemed almost as if there were returned mutual feelings.Well, tonight I got a chance to hang out with him for a bit...and boy, it was the most awkward situation I think I've ever been in. I was quiet and shy and reserved, which I never really acted around him in the past....I couldn't help it! Everything was just weird...I guess I had this bizarre notion that he would be the exact same way he was two years ago. But, people change...they grow and become different...and in his case, he's very much different. It's not a bad thing at all...it's just that I had no clue he had changed so much. He's still as sweet and definitely as cute as ever...but alas, I just couldn't be myself around him for some reason. All I know is that awkwardness is badness...and even if I wanted to and he wanted to, nothing could really work out between us. But in actuality, I think I'm actually not his type in any way, shape, or form...and this upsets me. I want to be his type! I want him to be my type! He's such an overall great guy and I would love to love to love him, you know?
I actually ended up bawling my eyes out on the way home...something about one of Michelle Branch's songs just really struck a chord with me. And once I started, I just couldn't stop. All the loneliness from the past couple of months just came rushing to the surface and all I could do was let it flow out of me. I thought that having a nice good cry would make me feel better, but it so didn't at all. The loneliness didn't just flow and wash away, it's still there...in fact, I'd say it's probably about a hundred times worse after tonight.
Ugh, I just don't know what to do with myself...
