Sunday, June 30, 2002
Breathe In, Breathe Out
My mom and I did something today that we never really do anymore: we talked. It wasn't something that either of us went out of our way to do or something that we planned...it just happened, just like it always used to do. There was no particular topic, there were no issues that we had to address, and there was no business to discuss...we just caught up on what's been happening with each other, we told jokes, we shot the shit, we bitched about our jobs, and we soaked up some sun in the pool. And now here I sit, thinking about how long it's been since we've actually done this. We've both become such busy people, between our jobs and my going to school and her tedious amounts of gardening and my social life and so on...I guess we both just sorta forgot that we need to stop every once in a while, take a deep breath, relax, and catch up on each other's lives. Yeah, sure, I got a few lectures about how I need to eat better, why I shouldn't get a credit card, and how I should manage my money more wisely...but still, what are moms for if they can't tell you what to do and how to act?
Love ya, mom. I'll try to take a breather with you more often...
My mom and I did something today that we never really do anymore: we talked. It wasn't something that either of us went out of our way to do or something that we planned...it just happened, just like it always used to do. There was no particular topic, there were no issues that we had to address, and there was no business to discuss...we just caught up on what's been happening with each other, we told jokes, we shot the shit, we bitched about our jobs, and we soaked up some sun in the pool. And now here I sit, thinking about how long it's been since we've actually done this. We've both become such busy people, between our jobs and my going to school and her tedious amounts of gardening and my social life and so on...I guess we both just sorta forgot that we need to stop every once in a while, take a deep breath, relax, and catch up on each other's lives. Yeah, sure, I got a few lectures about how I need to eat better, why I shouldn't get a credit card, and how I should manage my money more wisely...but still, what are moms for if they can't tell you what to do and how to act?
Love ya, mom. I'll try to take a breather with you more often...
Saturday, June 29, 2002
Just A Little Bitter...
It seems that a lot of guys that I know or that I talk to online are hitting the jackpot lately. They're all falling head over heels for someone...whether it's their best friend, their new neighbor, or some guy on the opposite side of the country. That's just fine and dandy...you're all very fortunate and you know I envy your asses. But sheesh...where in the heck is my prince charming already?? I'm trying to be patient, I really am...but it's really hard when almost every gay man I even halfway know is suddenly spoken for. Don't I deserve a good guy, too? I'm so very tired of all this "kissing the frogs" and "picking through the weeds" bullshit...I want my reward now, ok?
It seems that a lot of guys that I know or that I talk to online are hitting the jackpot lately. They're all falling head over heels for someone...whether it's their best friend, their new neighbor, or some guy on the opposite side of the country. That's just fine and dandy...you're all very fortunate and you know I envy your asses. But sheesh...where in the heck is my prince charming already?? I'm trying to be patient, I really am...but it's really hard when almost every gay man I even halfway know is suddenly spoken for. Don't I deserve a good guy, too? I'm so very tired of all this "kissing the frogs" and "picking through the weeds" bullshit...I want my reward now, ok?
Thursday, June 27, 2002
It's Hard To Think Of These Witty Headers...
I'd forgotten just how comforting Ani Difranco can be when I'm feeling anti-boys. It's so nice to rediscover CDs that you never really listen to anymore...it's like falling in love with it all over again and realizing just how much you've missed listening to music you can really relate to. Living In Clip and Revelling/Reckoning are two Ani Difranco albums that everyone should own and listen to regularly.
Heck, while I'm giving out advice, here's a quick lesson to all the kiddies out there: wear your damn retainer, seriously. I finally found mine after losing it months ago...so, I crammed into my mouth, desperately trying to save my shifting teeth. Ouch. It seriously feels like someone is hitting my teeth with a hammer, over and over and over again.
Excuse me while I go overdose on Advil...
I'd forgotten just how comforting Ani Difranco can be when I'm feeling anti-boys. It's so nice to rediscover CDs that you never really listen to anymore...it's like falling in love with it all over again and realizing just how much you've missed listening to music you can really relate to. Living In Clip and Revelling/Reckoning are two Ani Difranco albums that everyone should own and listen to regularly.
Heck, while I'm giving out advice, here's a quick lesson to all the kiddies out there: wear your damn retainer, seriously. I finally found mine after losing it months ago...so, I crammed into my mouth, desperately trying to save my shifting teeth. Ouch. It seriously feels like someone is hitting my teeth with a hammer, over and over and over again.
Excuse me while I go overdose on Advil...
Beauticians, Bullshit, and Blowjobs
My hair is ungodly long right now. Mrs. Esther, my beautician, has informed me that my hair is still not quite long enough for the style I want. It's now been almost two months since I've had a real haircut...and it's really getting to me. All I want is to look pretty...but right now, the only thing I'm looking like is Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Yeah, Shaggy...scary, isn't it?
Called him last night. Not Shaggy, of course...HIM, the Sexy Ex-Supervisor. I explained to him that I was way too hung up on him and that I needed some answers. Basically, I'm now more confused than ever. I called him with the intent of getting over these crush issues of mine...and, of course, I ended up liking him even more than I did before. This boy is either really good with words or really good at the art of protecting someone from the truth. Either way, I'm still as obsessed as ever...so sad...
And lastly, it's official...I've been screwed. A promotion at work has become nothing but an empty dream now...because I don't have breasts and I don't give my boss blowjobs. Oh, but guess who does have a vagina and gets an extra dollar an hour for being the mistress of the boss? I won't name any names...DONNA!
Oh my heck, what is the world coming to?
My hair is ungodly long right now. Mrs. Esther, my beautician, has informed me that my hair is still not quite long enough for the style I want. It's now been almost two months since I've had a real haircut...and it's really getting to me. All I want is to look pretty...but right now, the only thing I'm looking like is Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Yeah, Shaggy...scary, isn't it?
Called him last night. Not Shaggy, of course...HIM, the Sexy Ex-Supervisor. I explained to him that I was way too hung up on him and that I needed some answers. Basically, I'm now more confused than ever. I called him with the intent of getting over these crush issues of mine...and, of course, I ended up liking him even more than I did before. This boy is either really good with words or really good at the art of protecting someone from the truth. Either way, I'm still as obsessed as ever...so sad...
And lastly, it's official...I've been screwed. A promotion at work has become nothing but an empty dream now...because I don't have breasts and I don't give my boss blowjobs. Oh, but guess who does have a vagina and gets an extra dollar an hour for being the mistress of the boss? I won't name any names...DONNA!
Oh my heck, what is the world coming to?
Wednesday, June 26, 2002
Still Single And Accepting Applications
No kiss. No sitting next to each other. No legs brushing up against each other ever so often. No analyzing absurd situations over and over again. No walk to the car. No kiss...yeah, I know I said that already. Basically, there was no date. About an hour before the movie, he called to cancel...turns out, he had to do a lot of inventory crap and markdowns at the store he manages. Because Lord knows that stuff won't be there tomorrow...
But, I've taken this as a sign. I really need to move on now because this is just getting straight up ridiculous. All I've done to myself for the past couple of months is get worked up about the possibility of something and then finding myself let down. It's not even worth having my feelings hurt anymore, even though this guy is not even hurting me intentionally...he probably has not a clue that my feeling are hurt. And I'm not about to tell him...
So, yeah...I'm ending the obsession now, before it ends up in Scary Psycho Stalker Land.
No kiss. No sitting next to each other. No legs brushing up against each other ever so often. No analyzing absurd situations over and over again. No walk to the car. No kiss...yeah, I know I said that already. Basically, there was no date. About an hour before the movie, he called to cancel...turns out, he had to do a lot of inventory crap and markdowns at the store he manages. Because Lord knows that stuff won't be there tomorrow...
But, I've taken this as a sign. I really need to move on now because this is just getting straight up ridiculous. All I've done to myself for the past couple of months is get worked up about the possibility of something and then finding myself let down. It's not even worth having my feelings hurt anymore, even though this guy is not even hurting me intentionally...he probably has not a clue that my feeling are hurt. And I'm not about to tell him...
So, yeah...I'm ending the obsession now, before it ends up in Scary Psycho Stalker Land.
Tuesday, June 25, 2002
Because I'm Worth It, Damn It!
Tonight: Me and Sexy Ex-Supervisor. At the movies. Together. Also with friends, but together. Watching a movie. Sitting next to each other. Literally inches away from one another. No doubt, he'll look stunning. No doubt, I'll look rather twitchy and nervous. Because this is a date...oh yes, this is a date, whether he knows it or not. And tonight's the night that I make my move. I'll walk with him to his car...tell him that it was nice to hang out again...and somehow or another, find a way to kiss the boy. In a big parking lot. With lots of people around. You really don't understand how much of a big step this is for me...
And if it goes horribly wrong, then the obsession will be over with...cold turkey style. I'll have no regrets, no wondering about what would happen if I'd done this or that. Tonight, I'll finally have answers to all my questions and I'll finally know if this crush was worth it...
Tonight: Me and Sexy Ex-Supervisor. At the movies. Together. Also with friends, but together. Watching a movie. Sitting next to each other. Literally inches away from one another. No doubt, he'll look stunning. No doubt, I'll look rather twitchy and nervous. Because this is a date...oh yes, this is a date, whether he knows it or not. And tonight's the night that I make my move. I'll walk with him to his car...tell him that it was nice to hang out again...and somehow or another, find a way to kiss the boy. In a big parking lot. With lots of people around. You really don't understand how much of a big step this is for me...
And if it goes horribly wrong, then the obsession will be over with...cold turkey style. I'll have no regrets, no wondering about what would happen if I'd done this or that. Tonight, I'll finally have answers to all my questions and I'll finally know if this crush was worth it...
Sunday, June 23, 2002
Drama Free Is The Way To Be
There's been a whole lot of drama in my little circle of friends lately. I'll be the first one to tell you that drama is what keeps things interesting or exciting, but there's just been way too much for my taste lately. Without having to give extreme amounts of history and back stories, I'll just say that all the drama from the past couple of weeks culminated into one big bitchfest yesterday. It seemed like everyone was bitching about something...either the fact that they were pissed at someone or they were pissed at all the bullshit going down. Needless to say, it was a big mess...
After I had spent quite a while screaming into my cell phone and almost causing quite a few car accidents, I grabbed a cup of coffee, grabbed my pack of cigarettes, and I headed to the park. And there I sat, thinking. And thinking. And then, thinking some more. It was actually the most peaceful thing I had done in a really long time... and it helped bring a lot of things into perspective. I started to realize how stupid certain things had become and how much they had been blown out of proportion...and then, of course, the guilt started to wash over me. But still, I was peaceful and my nerves were finally calm.
Then, my friend had a brilliant idea. A night out with the friends, no drama allowed. Whatever issues you had, leave 'em at home, they aren't welcome. Everyone agrees that this is a great idea...and before we know it, everyone is smiling again and laughing together and being the bunch of dorks that we are. It was just like old times and we all agreed that it was the best night we'd had in a while.
And oh, we went to the movies to see Lilo and Stich, THE GREATEST Disney movie. Evah.
AND, I almost had another semi-date with the Sexy Ex-Supervisor...almost. I invited him to the movie at the last minute...and bless his heart, he tried to make it in time. But much to my disappointment, it just wasn't meant to happen. BUT, he did promise that we would get together again soon. Someday I'll get over this crush on him, I'm almost sure of it...
So, all in all, a great night. Long live nights without drama.
There's been a whole lot of drama in my little circle of friends lately. I'll be the first one to tell you that drama is what keeps things interesting or exciting, but there's just been way too much for my taste lately. Without having to give extreme amounts of history and back stories, I'll just say that all the drama from the past couple of weeks culminated into one big bitchfest yesterday. It seemed like everyone was bitching about something...either the fact that they were pissed at someone or they were pissed at all the bullshit going down. Needless to say, it was a big mess...
After I had spent quite a while screaming into my cell phone and almost causing quite a few car accidents, I grabbed a cup of coffee, grabbed my pack of cigarettes, and I headed to the park. And there I sat, thinking. And thinking. And then, thinking some more. It was actually the most peaceful thing I had done in a really long time... and it helped bring a lot of things into perspective. I started to realize how stupid certain things had become and how much they had been blown out of proportion...and then, of course, the guilt started to wash over me. But still, I was peaceful and my nerves were finally calm.
Then, my friend had a brilliant idea. A night out with the friends, no drama allowed. Whatever issues you had, leave 'em at home, they aren't welcome. Everyone agrees that this is a great idea...and before we know it, everyone is smiling again and laughing together and being the bunch of dorks that we are. It was just like old times and we all agreed that it was the best night we'd had in a while.
And oh, we went to the movies to see Lilo and Stich, THE GREATEST Disney movie. Evah.
AND, I almost had another semi-date with the Sexy Ex-Supervisor...almost. I invited him to the movie at the last minute...and bless his heart, he tried to make it in time. But much to my disappointment, it just wasn't meant to happen. BUT, he did promise that we would get together again soon. Someday I'll get over this crush on him, I'm almost sure of it...
So, all in all, a great night. Long live nights without drama.
Friday, June 21, 2002
I Am And I Am Not
I am not cute, handsome, attractive, or gorgeous. My looks are just my looks, there are no adjectives that I like to describe them with. I'm single...I have issues with it, but it's not the worst thing in the world. I'm 19, which is often times seen as young and inexperienced...well, it's true. I haven't traveled around the world and back, I haven't lived through the hardest of times yet, and I don't have all the wisdom in the world...and I don't pretend like I do. I'm not in perfect shape...I don't have any nice muscles or a well-defined chest or abs...I don't work out, I don't enjoy it, and I'm not gonna force myself to do something I hate. I have big feet...and yes, I know what they say about big feet. I have nowhere near a perfect smile...but at least I know how to smile. I dance like a white boy...because that's what I am, a white boy. I'm also gay, but that doesn't define me...although some people seem to think it does. I enjoy certain things over others, and I have my personal preferences...whether it be music, movies, television, hobbies, food, or otherwise. If our likes/dislikes don't match up, I'm sorry...but I'm not going to pretend to like something because you someone else does. I have low self-esteem...but at least I'm able to recognize my faults. I dress how I want to dress...it may be stylish, it may be comfortable...but I'm wearing it because I want to. I have a job and I hate it...doesn't everyone? I bitch, I whine, I complain, I criticize...I also gush, cheer, get hyper, and sometimes you'd swear that I'm perky or chipper.
I'm just me...I'm not perfect and I don't care to be. My faults are far too enjoyable...
I am not cute, handsome, attractive, or gorgeous. My looks are just my looks, there are no adjectives that I like to describe them with. I'm single...I have issues with it, but it's not the worst thing in the world. I'm 19, which is often times seen as young and inexperienced...well, it's true. I haven't traveled around the world and back, I haven't lived through the hardest of times yet, and I don't have all the wisdom in the world...and I don't pretend like I do. I'm not in perfect shape...I don't have any nice muscles or a well-defined chest or abs...I don't work out, I don't enjoy it, and I'm not gonna force myself to do something I hate. I have big feet...and yes, I know what they say about big feet. I have nowhere near a perfect smile...but at least I know how to smile. I dance like a white boy...because that's what I am, a white boy. I'm also gay, but that doesn't define me...although some people seem to think it does. I enjoy certain things over others, and I have my personal preferences...whether it be music, movies, television, hobbies, food, or otherwise. If our likes/dislikes don't match up, I'm sorry...but I'm not going to pretend to like something because you someone else does. I have low self-esteem...but at least I'm able to recognize my faults. I dress how I want to dress...it may be stylish, it may be comfortable...but I'm wearing it because I want to. I have a job and I hate it...doesn't everyone? I bitch, I whine, I complain, I criticize...I also gush, cheer, get hyper, and sometimes you'd swear that I'm perky or chipper.
I'm just me...I'm not perfect and I don't care to be. My faults are far too enjoyable...
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
I'd Better Watch My Back
Dinner tonight: Chinese take-out. Sesame chicken, spring rolls...always a decent meal. And hey, they gave us an extra fortune cookie! They're always a hoot and a half, but tonight...not so much.
"When someone says, 'Life is hard
Ask them, 'compared to what?'."
First off, I'm pretty sure that's some bad punctuation...I'm not exactly Mr. Grammar, but it just doesn't look like it could possibly be correct. As for the fortune itself, I'm still trying to figure out exactly how I feel about it. The second one though...
"Make safety a habit."
Jesus...those folks at the fortune cookie factory are getting kinda bitchy. Make safety a habit? What, like danger is my middle name or something? Sheesh...but, it's still better than the time I got no fortune in my cookie. The little old Chinese lady at the cash register got a look of terror in her eyes when I told her about that shit...
I wonder if anyone ever actually uses those lottery numbers...
Dinner tonight: Chinese take-out. Sesame chicken, spring rolls...always a decent meal. And hey, they gave us an extra fortune cookie! They're always a hoot and a half, but tonight...not so much.
"When someone says, 'Life is hard
Ask them, 'compared to what?'."
First off, I'm pretty sure that's some bad punctuation...I'm not exactly Mr. Grammar, but it just doesn't look like it could possibly be correct. As for the fortune itself, I'm still trying to figure out exactly how I feel about it. The second one though...
"Make safety a habit."
Jesus...those folks at the fortune cookie factory are getting kinda bitchy. Make safety a habit? What, like danger is my middle name or something? Sheesh...but, it's still better than the time I got no fortune in my cookie. The little old Chinese lady at the cash register got a look of terror in her eyes when I told her about that shit...
I wonder if anyone ever actually uses those lottery numbers...
Bah!
It's one of those days where your mood wants to match the weather. But, it's also one of those days where the weather is having mood swings. One minute, the sun is shining bright (makes me happy)...the next, a downpour of rain (makes me not happy). Oh look, there's the sun again (oh boy, I'm happy again)...wait a second, it's raining again (grrrr). Ah, there's the sun (yahoo!)...hold on, it's raining, too...
What the fudge? Make up your mind already...
It's one of those days where your mood wants to match the weather. But, it's also one of those days where the weather is having mood swings. One minute, the sun is shining bright (makes me happy)...the next, a downpour of rain (makes me not happy). Oh look, there's the sun again (oh boy, I'm happy again)...wait a second, it's raining again (grrrr). Ah, there's the sun (yahoo!)...hold on, it's raining, too...
What the fudge? Make up your mind already...
Monday, June 17, 2002
Yeah, Yeah...
Tonight I saw Scooby Doo. And yes, fuck you all, I enjoyed it. I grew up watching that show (in reruns, of course...it was definitely waaaaaaay before my time), so I had to see it...and plus, SMG was in it (she's everything I'd ever want in a woman if I were straight). Anyway...yeah, I enjoyed it...yeah, I laughed...and yeah, I recognized some of the lameness in it ("Lets get jinky with it!" puh-lease). So, say what you want...I already know that I'm easily entertained.
Oh, and Avril Lavigne is my anti-boys musician of the moment...excuse me while I bob my head and play the air guitar...
Tonight I saw Scooby Doo. And yes, fuck you all, I enjoyed it. I grew up watching that show (in reruns, of course...it was definitely waaaaaaay before my time), so I had to see it...and plus, SMG was in it (she's everything I'd ever want in a woman if I were straight). Anyway...yeah, I enjoyed it...yeah, I laughed...and yeah, I recognized some of the lameness in it ("Lets get jinky with it!" puh-lease). So, say what you want...I already know that I'm easily entertained.
Oh, and Avril Lavigne is my anti-boys musician of the moment...excuse me while I bob my head and play the air guitar...
Sunday, June 16, 2002
Bitch, Please
I have this horrible guilty pleasure...I love to watch dating shows. I love 'em all, really...from the trashy shows like Elimidate and The Fifth Wheel to the semi-classy shows like A Dating Story. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I never date, so I'm living vicariously through everyone else's dates. Yeah, so today I watched A Dating Story this afternoon...I've never been so disappointed. The boy was so very cute...fit, perfect tan, way too perfect smile, funny, intelligent, sweet. The girl...well, just think an even more annoying version of Mormon Julie from The Real World (if it's even possible for you to imagine). I swear, she had the same laugh, same hair, same dazed facial expressions...the only difference was she didn't have the horseteeth.
I could tell from the beginning that the girl was a major ditz, but I had no idea just how bad she was until she starts talking about her career...she's not a model, she's a modeling teacher. That's right, they actually have to be taught how to be a model (which I'm sure includes lessons on how to walk AND chew gum at the same time). Oh, and her car was stolen while she was in the mall buying her outfit for the date. Ha, riiiiiiight. The guy, on the other hand, has a good job as a computer programmer and drives an orgasm-worthy black vette. Why the hell is he on this blind date again?
Sadly enough, the guy actually likes the girl...personality, career, looks, and all. But the girl can only complain to the camera about how the guy has a flat ass and can't dance too well. When he asks for her number, she tells him to get it from the friend that set them up...and then she tells the camera that she's glad she has caller ID. Oh how I wanted to slap this bitch from here to Saturn...
Another bad episode like this, I'm just gonna have to stop watching...basically it spread the message that nice guys totally finish last, if they ever fucking finish at all. Totally not digging it...
I have this horrible guilty pleasure...I love to watch dating shows. I love 'em all, really...from the trashy shows like Elimidate and The Fifth Wheel to the semi-classy shows like A Dating Story. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I never date, so I'm living vicariously through everyone else's dates. Yeah, so today I watched A Dating Story this afternoon...I've never been so disappointed. The boy was so very cute...fit, perfect tan, way too perfect smile, funny, intelligent, sweet. The girl...well, just think an even more annoying version of Mormon Julie from The Real World (if it's even possible for you to imagine). I swear, she had the same laugh, same hair, same dazed facial expressions...the only difference was she didn't have the horseteeth.
I could tell from the beginning that the girl was a major ditz, but I had no idea just how bad she was until she starts talking about her career...she's not a model, she's a modeling teacher. That's right, they actually have to be taught how to be a model (which I'm sure includes lessons on how to walk AND chew gum at the same time). Oh, and her car was stolen while she was in the mall buying her outfit for the date. Ha, riiiiiiight. The guy, on the other hand, has a good job as a computer programmer and drives an orgasm-worthy black vette. Why the hell is he on this blind date again?
Sadly enough, the guy actually likes the girl...personality, career, looks, and all. But the girl can only complain to the camera about how the guy has a flat ass and can't dance too well. When he asks for her number, she tells him to get it from the friend that set them up...and then she tells the camera that she's glad she has caller ID. Oh how I wanted to slap this bitch from here to Saturn...
Another bad episode like this, I'm just gonna have to stop watching...basically it spread the message that nice guys totally finish last, if they ever fucking finish at all. Totally not digging it...
Who Knew?
I had an actual enlightening conversation with a guy today...and believe it or not, it was on gay.com. Before I get into what we actually discussed, let's have a little background information. I don't like clubs. Maybe it's because I'm not of the age to actually cut loose and enjoy myself legally...maybe it's because I'd rather not have my ass or crotch grabbed by complete strangers...maybe it's because I don't dig drugs, especially fags and queens on drugs...maybe it's because drag queens just give me the creeps...or maybe it's because I'm just a damn negative person who just can't find it in himself to socialize with snobby circuit boys.
My opinion is still the same...I still do not like clubs, and I'm pretty sure I never will. But, I think I may be able to respect some of these boys that do find clubs to be a good time. Sure, there's lots of drinking and illegal substances and snobby circuit boys, but that's not what it's all about. It can be about hanging out with your friends, enjoying each other's company while listening to some horrible music and watching porn on the closest television. It can be about going out to dance the night away, not caring about who sees you and what they say about you. It can be about going out each night, in hopes to find that soulmate that you really shouldn't be searching for in a club. It can be about cruising the scene, trying to figure out which cute boy you'll woo into coming home with you that night to hump the night away. Whatever it is, it's all about enjoying yourself...all you have to do is look past the negatives and find the positives.
Thanks for helping me see from a different perspective, guy. I still don't have an ounce of respect for any of the other circuit boys, but it's good to know that there are some intelligent life forms amidst the glow sticks, flashing lights, and annoying music.
I had an actual enlightening conversation with a guy today...and believe it or not, it was on gay.com. Before I get into what we actually discussed, let's have a little background information. I don't like clubs. Maybe it's because I'm not of the age to actually cut loose and enjoy myself legally...maybe it's because I'd rather not have my ass or crotch grabbed by complete strangers...maybe it's because I don't dig drugs, especially fags and queens on drugs...maybe it's because drag queens just give me the creeps...or maybe it's because I'm just a damn negative person who just can't find it in himself to socialize with snobby circuit boys.
My opinion is still the same...I still do not like clubs, and I'm pretty sure I never will. But, I think I may be able to respect some of these boys that do find clubs to be a good time. Sure, there's lots of drinking and illegal substances and snobby circuit boys, but that's not what it's all about. It can be about hanging out with your friends, enjoying each other's company while listening to some horrible music and watching porn on the closest television. It can be about going out to dance the night away, not caring about who sees you and what they say about you. It can be about going out each night, in hopes to find that soulmate that you really shouldn't be searching for in a club. It can be about cruising the scene, trying to figure out which cute boy you'll woo into coming home with you that night to hump the night away. Whatever it is, it's all about enjoying yourself...all you have to do is look past the negatives and find the positives.
Thanks for helping me see from a different perspective, guy. I still don't have an ounce of respect for any of the other circuit boys, but it's good to know that there are some intelligent life forms amidst the glow sticks, flashing lights, and annoying music.
Friday, June 14, 2002
Love Day
This fella had a great idea...and I'm gonna do my part.
To my parents: I love you guys with all of my heart. As cliché as it may sound, you have and always will be there for me when I need you, and that means more to me than you'll ever know.
To my friends: You guys are the absolute greatest. Just when I believed that I could never trust anyone ever again, you all made me realize that there are still decent people living in this world. We've laughed together, whined together, and bitched together...and I'm truly grateful to have met you all.
And finally, to Ewan McGregor: I'd love to love to love ya. Someday we shall be together. And you'll sing to me. And we'll have nerdy light saber fights...it'll be great!
This fella had a great idea...and I'm gonna do my part.
To my parents: I love you guys with all of my heart. As cliché as it may sound, you have and always will be there for me when I need you, and that means more to me than you'll ever know.
To my friends: You guys are the absolute greatest. Just when I believed that I could never trust anyone ever again, you all made me realize that there are still decent people living in this world. We've laughed together, whined together, and bitched together...and I'm truly grateful to have met you all.
And finally, to Ewan McGregor: I'd love to love to love ya. Someday we shall be together. And you'll sing to me. And we'll have nerdy light saber fights...it'll be great!
Good For A Laugh
On my AOL welcome screen...
"Top News: Bishops May Pass Stiffer Abuse Policy"
On my AOL welcome screen...
"Top News: Bishops May Pass Stiffer Abuse Policy"
Truth, Beauty, Freedom, and Love
I never buy DVDs. In fact, I've only bought one DVD in my entire life. Usually, seeing a movie once or twice is enough for me. But after renting Moulin Rouge way too many times to count, I decided it'd be wiser to just buy it now and be able to watch it whenever I'd like. Trust me, this doesn't happen too often...but that's just how much I love this movie. So, I got to watch it again last night...wanted to cry, but refused to in front of my friends. I doubt I'll ever get tired of this movie, especially with Ewan McGregor looking as gorgeous as he does. And his accent...oh, his accent...
I never buy DVDs. In fact, I've only bought one DVD in my entire life. Usually, seeing a movie once or twice is enough for me. But after renting Moulin Rouge way too many times to count, I decided it'd be wiser to just buy it now and be able to watch it whenever I'd like. Trust me, this doesn't happen too often...but that's just how much I love this movie. So, I got to watch it again last night...wanted to cry, but refused to in front of my friends. I doubt I'll ever get tired of this movie, especially with Ewan McGregor looking as gorgeous as he does. And his accent...oh, his accent...
Thursday, June 13, 2002
Believe It Or Not, I'm All Smiles
Jamming to Avril Lavigne...watching Frank and Doug make yet another mess on Trading Spaces...and not wanting to go to work tonight. If only every moment of every day could be as relaxing as this afternoon has been...
Maybe then I wouldn't need those addictive little whores, otherwise known as cigarettes...
Jamming to Avril Lavigne...watching Frank and Doug make yet another mess on Trading Spaces...and not wanting to go to work tonight. If only every moment of every day could be as relaxing as this afternoon has been...
Maybe then I wouldn't need those addictive little whores, otherwise known as cigarettes...
Nyah, Nyah-Nyah-Nyah, Nyah
I saw a former crush of mine today. He looked horrible...and I looked stunning compared to him (which says an awful lot, seeing as how I never look stunning). I bet he's wishing he wouldn't have just shrugged me off now, isn't he?
Ah, life is good...
I saw a former crush of mine today. He looked horrible...and I looked stunning compared to him (which says an awful lot, seeing as how I never look stunning). I bet he's wishing he wouldn't have just shrugged me off now, isn't he?
Ah, life is good...
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
Just Another Crush
Jhames is cute. Jhames is funny. Jhames is intelligent. And Jhames has the cutest dog. Jhames needs to marry me, I think...
*sigh* Jhames...
Jhames is cute. Jhames is funny. Jhames is intelligent. And Jhames has the cutest dog. Jhames needs to marry me, I think...
*sigh* Jhames...
Fall Into The Gap
About damn time one of these quizzes was accurate...this is definitely me...
But this makes me sad...it's been so very very long since I got to take a shopping trip. I need new flip-flops, dammit! You can never have enough, you know...
About damn time one of these quizzes was accurate...this is definitely me...
But this makes me sad...it's been so very very long since I got to take a shopping trip. I need new flip-flops, dammit! You can never have enough, you know...
Tuesday, June 11, 2002
Hooray!
After a really long search for another blog to read on a daily basis, I think I may have found one that's worth a read. Just thought I'd share... you know you wanna see it...
After a really long search for another blog to read on a daily basis, I think I may have found one that's worth a read. Just thought I'd share... you know you wanna see it...
Pfffft, Canadians!
I don't normally watch Much Music, but I was really REEEEALLY bored today (and I guess I just wanted to see some of those wacky little Canadians with all their crazy Canadian antics)...and I actually sat through an entire show called, "Dedicate Live!" Wow...so, I'd love to say that it was entertaining and that it solved the problem that was my boredom. But, no...it was horrible. Basically, the entire program was nothing but a little rolling marquee of dedications...but oh no, it wasn't just dedications, it was dedications from teenage girls. "*insert a boy name here*, I think you're the cutest boy in school! Will you please ask me out??" The worst part is, they were using completely random-ass songs as the dedications...Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up The Sun" for revealing your crush?? Puh-lease...
I don't normally watch Much Music, but I was really REEEEALLY bored today (and I guess I just wanted to see some of those wacky little Canadians with all their crazy Canadian antics)...and I actually sat through an entire show called, "Dedicate Live!" Wow...so, I'd love to say that it was entertaining and that it solved the problem that was my boredom. But, no...it was horrible. Basically, the entire program was nothing but a little rolling marquee of dedications...but oh no, it wasn't just dedications, it was dedications from teenage girls. "*insert a boy name here*, I think you're the cutest boy in school! Will you please ask me out??" The worst part is, they were using completely random-ass songs as the dedications...Sheryl Crow's "Soak Up The Sun" for revealing your crush?? Puh-lease...
Just A Hint Of Sarcasm
Isn't summer school just great?? I love getting up at 7:30, Monday through Thursday, just so I can drive to campus to walk...for fitness! It's just so much fun, I just don't know what to do with myself...really! First, we stretch. Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk a lap. Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk for ten whole minutes! Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk for ten more minutes! Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk for another ten minutes! Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk a final lap and do final stretches. Then, do you know what we do after that?? We take our heart rate!! I'm telling you all, loads of fun...everyone should take a class like this! Who knew walking could be so gee golly exciting?
Isn't summer school just great?? I love getting up at 7:30, Monday through Thursday, just so I can drive to campus to walk...for fitness! It's just so much fun, I just don't know what to do with myself...really! First, we stretch. Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk a lap. Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk for ten whole minutes! Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk for ten more minutes! Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk for another ten minutes! Then we take our heart rate. Then we walk a final lap and do final stretches. Then, do you know what we do after that?? We take our heart rate!! I'm telling you all, loads of fun...everyone should take a class like this! Who knew walking could be so gee golly exciting?
Monday, June 10, 2002
Sunday, June 09, 2002
You Say It's Your Birthday
Yeah, happy birthday to me. I guess 19 isn't as bad as I thought it'd be...hell, I still feel 18 and that's the story I'm sticking to. Had a pretty decent time though...my parents had a little BBQ for me and my friends, complete with Spongebob-themed decorations. As far as presents go, I got a wonderful glittery blue Skip It and a Janet Jackson DVD. And tomorrow, my mom and I are gonna have a nice little shopping excursion/bonding time. For the first time, it was a pretty low-key birthday...so, that made it a bit better. Only thing that could've made everything great...I called the Sexy Ex-Supervisor and left an invitation to the BBQ on his voicemail...but never heard back from him. But bah, who needs him anyway? All he would've brought was lots of stress and over-analyzing and awkwardness...
But maybe I could've forced him into a "Happy 19th B-Day" kiss...hehehe.
Yeah, happy birthday to me. I guess 19 isn't as bad as I thought it'd be...hell, I still feel 18 and that's the story I'm sticking to. Had a pretty decent time though...my parents had a little BBQ for me and my friends, complete with Spongebob-themed decorations. As far as presents go, I got a wonderful glittery blue Skip It and a Janet Jackson DVD. And tomorrow, my mom and I are gonna have a nice little shopping excursion/bonding time. For the first time, it was a pretty low-key birthday...so, that made it a bit better. Only thing that could've made everything great...I called the Sexy Ex-Supervisor and left an invitation to the BBQ on his voicemail...but never heard back from him. But bah, who needs him anyway? All he would've brought was lots of stress and over-analyzing and awkwardness...
But maybe I could've forced him into a "Happy 19th B-Day" kiss...hehehe.
Friday, June 07, 2002
Uh...um...
I decided the other day that I'm tired of having these hopeless crushes of mine. I was feeling pretty darn brave at the time, so I picked up the phone and called up the Sexy Ex-Supervisor. I worked out everything I was going to say in my head because I didn't want things to end up like the babbling mess when I told him he was my crush. But yeah...once again, everything totally left my brain when he answered the phone. There were lots of "uhs" and "ums" and stuttering and just plain badness. But, I did a little better than last time at getting the point across, which is pretty good. I basically told him that, yeah, I have a crush on him and probably always will...but I realize that I pretty much have no chance in hell with him (since he probably doesn't feel the same about me AND because he's so busy all the time). I was feeling good about myself after getting it all out...until he responded. He started complimenting me and being all nice and sweet...and my whole new wall of bravery and self-respect just kinda tumbled down while my crush (which was supposed to go away or shrink some) just grew more and more.
Sheesh, boys just suck sometimes...
I decided the other day that I'm tired of having these hopeless crushes of mine. I was feeling pretty darn brave at the time, so I picked up the phone and called up the Sexy Ex-Supervisor. I worked out everything I was going to say in my head because I didn't want things to end up like the babbling mess when I told him he was my crush. But yeah...once again, everything totally left my brain when he answered the phone. There were lots of "uhs" and "ums" and stuttering and just plain badness. But, I did a little better than last time at getting the point across, which is pretty good. I basically told him that, yeah, I have a crush on him and probably always will...but I realize that I pretty much have no chance in hell with him (since he probably doesn't feel the same about me AND because he's so busy all the time). I was feeling good about myself after getting it all out...until he responded. He started complimenting me and being all nice and sweet...and my whole new wall of bravery and self-respect just kinda tumbled down while my crush (which was supposed to go away or shrink some) just grew more and more.
Sheesh, boys just suck sometimes...
Tuesday, June 04, 2002
Yeah, Baby. C'mon.
So what do I want for my birthday? I have no friggin' clue. Honestly, birthdays just aren't what they used to be...there was always some toy I wanted or some CD or some new outfit. But these days, it seems like I have everything I need...yeah, toys are fun and there's always a CD I neglect to buy and you can NEVER have enough clothes, but the only thing I really want this year is just to survive the birthday itself and make it to 20. I'm just really not liking the whole 19 thing...it just seems like it's not gonna be a very fun year. But, that's just that horrible pessimism rearing it's ugly head again...
Anyway, as far as gifts...if in doubt, money is always a great gift. Or, uh, *achem* BuffyTheVampireSlayerDVDsMakeAGreatGiftToo. Or someone to call my lover would be nice. Yeah, baby. C'mon. Also, everyone who knows me knows my sweet tooth is never satisfied, so sweets make a great gift. But seriously, just a hug and a "You still look 18 to me" will do me just fine.
So what do I want for my birthday? I have no friggin' clue. Honestly, birthdays just aren't what they used to be...there was always some toy I wanted or some CD or some new outfit. But these days, it seems like I have everything I need...yeah, toys are fun and there's always a CD I neglect to buy and you can NEVER have enough clothes, but the only thing I really want this year is just to survive the birthday itself and make it to 20. I'm just really not liking the whole 19 thing...it just seems like it's not gonna be a very fun year. But, that's just that horrible pessimism rearing it's ugly head again...
Anyway, as far as gifts...if in doubt, money is always a great gift. Or, uh, *achem* BuffyTheVampireSlayerDVDsMakeAGreatGiftToo. Or someone to call my lover would be nice. Yeah, baby. C'mon. Also, everyone who knows me knows my sweet tooth is never satisfied, so sweets make a great gift. But seriously, just a hug and a "You still look 18 to me" will do me just fine.
Monday, June 03, 2002
AAAAAAHHHH!!!!
I came out last night to a few people at work. It was a pretty scary experience, really. I was all shaking and nervous and stuttering...but in the end, everything worked out just fine. I got mostly the same reaction that I always get: "duh." But one person was actually surprised, believe it or not...and he seemed to be the most likely to pick up on it all along. I think it might've weirded him out somewhat, but hopefully he'll get over it...he's a really super sweet guy and the only person there that I truly enjoy working with. And no, there is no crush involved...he's just one of those genuine nice guys that you can't help but like. Anyway, I made sure to tell the blabbermouth of the place, that way I don't have to bother telling everybody...she'll just do the dirty work for me.
Gotta go...The List is on. Such a great show...
I came out last night to a few people at work. It was a pretty scary experience, really. I was all shaking and nervous and stuttering...but in the end, everything worked out just fine. I got mostly the same reaction that I always get: "duh." But one person was actually surprised, believe it or not...and he seemed to be the most likely to pick up on it all along. I think it might've weirded him out somewhat, but hopefully he'll get over it...he's a really super sweet guy and the only person there that I truly enjoy working with. And no, there is no crush involved...he's just one of those genuine nice guys that you can't help but like. Anyway, I made sure to tell the blabbermouth of the place, that way I don't have to bother telling everybody...she'll just do the dirty work for me.
Gotta go...The List is on. Such a great show...
Sunday, June 02, 2002
Hey, Hey, Hey
Everybody loves a good quiz every once in a while...
i'm a rabbit.what kinda pet are you?
quiz made by muna.
what adjective are you?
quiz by maikamariel
i'm an eyeshadow. what type of make up are you?
quiz made by muna.
I don't think it's possible for these quiz results to contradict themselves any more. Oh well, they're fun...
Everybody loves a good quiz every once in a while...
i'm a rabbit.what kinda pet are you?
quiz made by muna.
what adjective are you?
quiz by maikamariel
i'm an eyeshadow. what type of make up are you?
quiz made by muna.
I don't think it's possible for these quiz results to contradict themselves any more. Oh well, they're fun...
And The Countdown Is On
It's exactly one week until my 19th birthday. I'm still not so sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Yeah, sure, birthdays can be fun...I've always loved getting presents and money and birthday cake, so I'm definitely looking forward to all that mess. So what's bad? I'm getting older. I'm in that awkward stage between adolescence and adulthood. This is going to be my last year as a teenager!! It's like scary and exciting all at the same time, but more scary than anything. Now's the time in my life where things should start lining up and dreams should start becoming realities and money should be saved and I should start being more responsible and yadda yadda yadda. Sheesh, birthdays are just starting to become one day full of large amounts of pressure and stress and scary adult stuff...
Can I just stop aging, please?
It's exactly one week until my 19th birthday. I'm still not so sure if this is a good or a bad thing. Yeah, sure, birthdays can be fun...I've always loved getting presents and money and birthday cake, so I'm definitely looking forward to all that mess. So what's bad? I'm getting older. I'm in that awkward stage between adolescence and adulthood. This is going to be my last year as a teenager!! It's like scary and exciting all at the same time, but more scary than anything. Now's the time in my life where things should start lining up and dreams should start becoming realities and money should be saved and I should start being more responsible and yadda yadda yadda. Sheesh, birthdays are just starting to become one day full of large amounts of pressure and stress and scary adult stuff...
Can I just stop aging, please?
Saturday, June 01, 2002
I Like...
I'm still constantly rotating Vanessa Carlton...mostly because, like I said in the last blog, I haven't bought any new CDs in a while. But, Vanessa is one of those CDs that I don't think I'll ever really get tired of. Of course, I said the same thing about Michelle Branch and now I hardly ever listen to her...
Spongebob Squarepants. Right now, I only need one more toy to complete my collection from the Wendy's Kids' Meals. The greatest by far is Gary, who has all this confetti inside of his little shell that flies around when you roll him around.
'Tis the season of flip flops. I bought the greatest pair not too long ago from Hibbet. Yes, I know, sports store...yuck. And they're Nike, no less! But let me tell you...they may have been the most expensive pair of flip flops I've ever bought, but they were well worth it. These things are the most comfortable things I've ever slipped on my feet.
MTV's "Now What?" Funny show, in the whole typical perverted straight guy way...but very cute boys on this, oh yes.
Neutrogena's Clear Pore Soothing Gel Astringent. This shit works. All you have to do is rub in across your face with a cotton ball...and just like that, you're oil-free and feeling great.
Trading Spaces reruns. Now, I'm talking about the first season episodes, hosted by Alex McLeod, who doesn't act like a mouse on speed. Paige has her few rare funny moments, but Alex would always crack me up. And she used one of my favorite expressions once: "You're such a boy!"
James Franco is just too cute for his own good. Most people have seen him in his role as Harry Osbourne in Spiderman...but this boy played James Dean and got a Golden Globe for it! Not too many actors can put that on their resume. Anyway, check out some pictures of this cutie here.
Ok, I'm gonna stop this list before it gets way too long...
I'm still constantly rotating Vanessa Carlton...mostly because, like I said in the last blog, I haven't bought any new CDs in a while. But, Vanessa is one of those CDs that I don't think I'll ever really get tired of. Of course, I said the same thing about Michelle Branch and now I hardly ever listen to her...
Spongebob Squarepants. Right now, I only need one more toy to complete my collection from the Wendy's Kids' Meals. The greatest by far is Gary, who has all this confetti inside of his little shell that flies around when you roll him around.
'Tis the season of flip flops. I bought the greatest pair not too long ago from Hibbet. Yes, I know, sports store...yuck. And they're Nike, no less! But let me tell you...they may have been the most expensive pair of flip flops I've ever bought, but they were well worth it. These things are the most comfortable things I've ever slipped on my feet.
MTV's "Now What?" Funny show, in the whole typical perverted straight guy way...but very cute boys on this, oh yes.
Neutrogena's Clear Pore Soothing Gel Astringent. This shit works. All you have to do is rub in across your face with a cotton ball...and just like that, you're oil-free and feeling great.
Trading Spaces reruns. Now, I'm talking about the first season episodes, hosted by Alex McLeod, who doesn't act like a mouse on speed. Paige has her few rare funny moments, but Alex would always crack me up. And she used one of my favorite expressions once: "You're such a boy!"
James Franco is just too cute for his own good. Most people have seen him in his role as Harry Osbourne in Spiderman...but this boy played James Dean and got a Golden Globe for it! Not too many actors can put that on their resume. Anyway, check out some pictures of this cutie here.
Ok, I'm gonna stop this list before it gets way too long...
