Monday, March 24, 2003
Hiatus
If you haven't noticed, I just haven't been into this whole blogging thing lately. I dunno, the whole state of the world and all the crazy-ass shit going on today...little girls being kidnapped and brainwashed, serial killers on the loose, wars being waged for whatever fucking reason...it just makes all my rants and raves and whinings and complaints just seem so frivolous. So, I'm taking a break...for how long, I dunno.
I'll see ya when I see ya. Whatever, you know what I mean.
If you haven't noticed, I just haven't been into this whole blogging thing lately. I dunno, the whole state of the world and all the crazy-ass shit going on today...little girls being kidnapped and brainwashed, serial killers on the loose, wars being waged for whatever fucking reason...it just makes all my rants and raves and whinings and complaints just seem so frivolous. So, I'm taking a break...for how long, I dunno.
I'll see ya when I see ya. Whatever, you know what I mean.
Wednesday, March 19, 2003
It's Been A While
The past week or so has been an unbelievable whirlwind. I've had opportunities to write, I just haven't really felt the need or desire to do so. In the past, I've written about things before they really have a chance to play out or come to pass...and I think, in a way, that's ended up jinxing them. So, I'm not taking any chances this time. Just know that some incredible things have happened and I'm still waiting to see just how they will end up. So, just think of it as me being an elementary school kid: "Nyah, nyah, I've got a secret."
Yeah, I know, whatever.
The past week or so has been an unbelievable whirlwind. I've had opportunities to write, I just haven't really felt the need or desire to do so. In the past, I've written about things before they really have a chance to play out or come to pass...and I think, in a way, that's ended up jinxing them. So, I'm not taking any chances this time. Just know that some incredible things have happened and I'm still waiting to see just how they will end up. So, just think of it as me being an elementary school kid: "Nyah, nyah, I've got a secret."
Yeah, I know, whatever.
Sunday, March 09, 2003
Sappy Pathetic Little Me
I was watching a comedy show on television a few nights ago...and, believe it or not, one of the comedians actually inspired some deep thoughts. He was making this joke about a guy with no arms, who could do bizarre things like play the guitar with his feet. But he pointed out that this guy just made him feel like shit...because here this guy was, with no arms, not letting anything hold him back from doing more than what was expected of himself. And here this comedian is, fully capable of doing so much, but just not giving a damn. It really made me realize just how much of a loser I can be at times. I don't really do anything that isn't expected of me. I don't go out of my way to learn anything that I don't have to learn and I don't often try new things and I take so many things for granted...hell, I barely do what IS expected of me, and even then it feels like the biggest inconvenience most of the time. What in the friggin' hell is wrong with me? I should be appreciative of what I am and what I am capable of and what is at my disposal. Instead, I just make my way through life one day at a time, bitching about what I'm lacking and never doing anything about it.
Jesus, this is pathetic...
I was watching a comedy show on television a few nights ago...and, believe it or not, one of the comedians actually inspired some deep thoughts. He was making this joke about a guy with no arms, who could do bizarre things like play the guitar with his feet. But he pointed out that this guy just made him feel like shit...because here this guy was, with no arms, not letting anything hold him back from doing more than what was expected of himself. And here this comedian is, fully capable of doing so much, but just not giving a damn. It really made me realize just how much of a loser I can be at times. I don't really do anything that isn't expected of me. I don't go out of my way to learn anything that I don't have to learn and I don't often try new things and I take so many things for granted...hell, I barely do what IS expected of me, and even then it feels like the biggest inconvenience most of the time. What in the friggin' hell is wrong with me? I should be appreciative of what I am and what I am capable of and what is at my disposal. Instead, I just make my way through life one day at a time, bitching about what I'm lacking and never doing anything about it.
Jesus, this is pathetic...
Thursday, March 06, 2003
Hey, It's Funny To Me
It's been a funny and strange day today. First off, our campus is dead...everyone but me was actually smart enough to realize that it'd be a good idea to just take Thursday and Friday off after all the Mardi Gras festivities. So yeah, the campus has about half the amount of crowdedness as it normally does. But, amazingly, you can cut the campus population in half and it'll still be too goddamn crowded here.
As I'm getting ready for class this morning, I decided to turn on this CD of mind that I like to call "My Funny CD." It has lots of goofy little songs that I've downloaded here and there on it...but one in particular that can always make me smile is "Schfifty-five." Don't ask me who it's by, I don't have a fucking clue...but it makes me laugh. So, as I'm listening and giggling away while beebopping around my room half-nude, a knock comes on my door. And guess who it is? The cute-ass boy from two doors down the hall! Turns out he was walking past, heard the song, recognized it, and was amazed that someone else liked it enough to play it at a high volume. In the meantime, I'm turning ten shades of red because I have no shirt on, there's dirty clothes all over the floor, and my post-shower hair is out of control. Whatever, he leaves anyway...leaving me both shocked and embarassed as hell, since I expected him to be this disturbing guy who always shows up at the most inconvenient times.
Then it's on to psychology class, where as we were discussing classical conditioning, other topics arose such as wet dreams, fears of clowns, and just how freaky that dude sitting in the corner is. It was entertaining to say the least and frightening to say the most.
And as I'm walking back to my dorm to gather materials for the project from hell, Ms. Hoochie gives me a call to tell me all about the Jerry Springer Show Generator that she included me in. Apparently, in the world of Jerry Springer, I'm straight, caught in a bizarre love triangle between my best friend and sworn enemy, and much less of a whore than in actual reality. Hmph, imagine that...
It's been a funny and strange day today. First off, our campus is dead...everyone but me was actually smart enough to realize that it'd be a good idea to just take Thursday and Friday off after all the Mardi Gras festivities. So yeah, the campus has about half the amount of crowdedness as it normally does. But, amazingly, you can cut the campus population in half and it'll still be too goddamn crowded here.
As I'm getting ready for class this morning, I decided to turn on this CD of mind that I like to call "My Funny CD." It has lots of goofy little songs that I've downloaded here and there on it...but one in particular that can always make me smile is "Schfifty-five." Don't ask me who it's by, I don't have a fucking clue...but it makes me laugh. So, as I'm listening and giggling away while beebopping around my room half-nude, a knock comes on my door. And guess who it is? The cute-ass boy from two doors down the hall! Turns out he was walking past, heard the song, recognized it, and was amazed that someone else liked it enough to play it at a high volume. In the meantime, I'm turning ten shades of red because I have no shirt on, there's dirty clothes all over the floor, and my post-shower hair is out of control. Whatever, he leaves anyway...leaving me both shocked and embarassed as hell, since I expected him to be this disturbing guy who always shows up at the most inconvenient times.
Then it's on to psychology class, where as we were discussing classical conditioning, other topics arose such as wet dreams, fears of clowns, and just how freaky that dude sitting in the corner is. It was entertaining to say the least and frightening to say the most.
And as I'm walking back to my dorm to gather materials for the project from hell, Ms. Hoochie gives me a call to tell me all about the Jerry Springer Show Generator that she included me in. Apparently, in the world of Jerry Springer, I'm straight, caught in a bizarre love triangle between my best friend and sworn enemy, and much less of a whore than in actual reality. Hmph, imagine that...
Wednesday, March 05, 2003
Well, Lookee Here...
Wow, it's been a few days. Sorry for the lack of updates...I went home on Friday and just got back a few hours ago. And, since my dad has become an anal retentive freak about his computer, I couldn't have updated even if I had actually wanted to. Truth be told, I really didn't feel like updating, otherwise I would've found some sort of alternative. I spent a lot of my time visiting with friends and partying it up for Mardi Gras...and spent the rest of it dwelling on the bitterness and resentment that I have towards all things male right now. That's right, boys...if you have a penis and call yourself a man/boy/guy/whatever, I have no love for you at this point in time. In fact, I'd almost, ALMOST, wish a long and painful death by spoons upon you...but then, at some point, I'm gonna want one of you again and I won't be thrilled to find that you've all been tortured to death by very dull kitchen utensils.
See? If I would've actually updated over the past few days, the bitterness would've been amplified approximately a million times. Aren't you all glad I spared you the misery?
So, anyway, Mardi Gras was fun. This was my very first Mardi Gras where I wasn't in the company of adult supervision...so yeah, I had the chance to cut loose a bit. Had a few drinks here and there, flirted with a few pieces of scum here and there, and shot down every guy who begged me to pull my pants down for a set of cheap plastic beads. Now, had the guys actually been drop dead gorgeous and had they caught me when I was just a wee bit more toasted, perhaps I would've considered a quick flash...but alas, boys never know what the hell they're doing.
Did I mention I'm feeling bitter?
Oh...and just so you all know, the guy who said he'd call and didn't, has continued to do so. And did I call him? Hell yes I did...even left a nasty little voicemail for him at one point. Will I call him again? Hell no I won't...I may be pathetic, but not so pathetic that I can't get the message when a guy decides to be a standoff-ish prick. I mean, granted, guys should totally be chasing after me and calling me and all that good stuff...but that's just never how my game works. What's my game? I actively pursue the guy...and he either responds or doesn't. And 99.9% of time, there's no response.
Hmm...methinks I should get a new gameplan because this shit just isn't working...
Wow, it's been a few days. Sorry for the lack of updates...I went home on Friday and just got back a few hours ago. And, since my dad has become an anal retentive freak about his computer, I couldn't have updated even if I had actually wanted to. Truth be told, I really didn't feel like updating, otherwise I would've found some sort of alternative. I spent a lot of my time visiting with friends and partying it up for Mardi Gras...and spent the rest of it dwelling on the bitterness and resentment that I have towards all things male right now. That's right, boys...if you have a penis and call yourself a man/boy/guy/whatever, I have no love for you at this point in time. In fact, I'd almost, ALMOST, wish a long and painful death by spoons upon you...but then, at some point, I'm gonna want one of you again and I won't be thrilled to find that you've all been tortured to death by very dull kitchen utensils.
See? If I would've actually updated over the past few days, the bitterness would've been amplified approximately a million times. Aren't you all glad I spared you the misery?
So, anyway, Mardi Gras was fun. This was my very first Mardi Gras where I wasn't in the company of adult supervision...so yeah, I had the chance to cut loose a bit. Had a few drinks here and there, flirted with a few pieces of scum here and there, and shot down every guy who begged me to pull my pants down for a set of cheap plastic beads. Now, had the guys actually been drop dead gorgeous and had they caught me when I was just a wee bit more toasted, perhaps I would've considered a quick flash...but alas, boys never know what the hell they're doing.
Did I mention I'm feeling bitter?
Oh...and just so you all know, the guy who said he'd call and didn't, has continued to do so. And did I call him? Hell yes I did...even left a nasty little voicemail for him at one point. Will I call him again? Hell no I won't...I may be pathetic, but not so pathetic that I can't get the message when a guy decides to be a standoff-ish prick. I mean, granted, guys should totally be chasing after me and calling me and all that good stuff...but that's just never how my game works. What's my game? I actively pursue the guy...and he either responds or doesn't. And 99.9% of time, there's no response.
Hmm...methinks I should get a new gameplan because this shit just isn't working...
