Monday, September 30, 2002
That Way
I don't know why, but the utter stupidity and rudeness of people these days still astounds me. Just when I think I've seen or experienced it all, someone decides to give me a little bit of a surprise. Tonight, for example...I'm at work, minding my own business, just trying to make it through the seemingly endless five-hour shift, when one of my former high school classmates comes strolling into my store. Immediately, my shield goes up in preparation for anything this guy could possibly throw at me...and to my surprise, he's actually interested in getting a phone and he's being almost civil about it. And so, I let my guard down, thinking that maybe this guy wasn't as bad as he once was...maybe, just maybe, he's grown and moved on from the days of being that jackass that everyone laughs at simply because they have nothing better to do. Then, out of nowhere, he looks me straight in the eye and asks..."James, are you that way?"
Now, hold on a second. First of all, fuck you for being the ass that you are. Second of all, fuck me for being the naive mother fucker that I am. And third of all, what the hell kind of business is it of yours?
Of course, I couldn't actually say those things without risking my employment. So, I looked him straight back in the eyes and said, "Dude, I don't know what you're talking about." Yeah, yeah...it's a dead giveaway, I know. But please, he already knew the answer to the question, just like everyone else I went to high school with knows that answer (due to an unfortunate bit of honesty that came during the drunken stupor that is post-graduation). Yup, he's a class clown until the end...and I bet he thought he was Mr. Chuckles himself with that one. Surely, he'll share his tale with all my other fellow graduates. And, surely, they'll all get a good laugh out of it.
And they can laugh their pathetic N-1 credit class asses all the way home...
I don't know why, but the utter stupidity and rudeness of people these days still astounds me. Just when I think I've seen or experienced it all, someone decides to give me a little bit of a surprise. Tonight, for example...I'm at work, minding my own business, just trying to make it through the seemingly endless five-hour shift, when one of my former high school classmates comes strolling into my store. Immediately, my shield goes up in preparation for anything this guy could possibly throw at me...and to my surprise, he's actually interested in getting a phone and he's being almost civil about it. And so, I let my guard down, thinking that maybe this guy wasn't as bad as he once was...maybe, just maybe, he's grown and moved on from the days of being that jackass that everyone laughs at simply because they have nothing better to do. Then, out of nowhere, he looks me straight in the eye and asks..."James, are you that way?"
Now, hold on a second. First of all, fuck you for being the ass that you are. Second of all, fuck me for being the naive mother fucker that I am. And third of all, what the hell kind of business is it of yours?
Of course, I couldn't actually say those things without risking my employment. So, I looked him straight back in the eyes and said, "Dude, I don't know what you're talking about." Yeah, yeah...it's a dead giveaway, I know. But please, he already knew the answer to the question, just like everyone else I went to high school with knows that answer (due to an unfortunate bit of honesty that came during the drunken stupor that is post-graduation). Yup, he's a class clown until the end...and I bet he thought he was Mr. Chuckles himself with that one. Surely, he'll share his tale with all my other fellow graduates. And, surely, they'll all get a good laugh out of it.
And they can laugh their pathetic N-1 credit class asses all the way home...
Tuesday, September 24, 2002
Nothing To See Here...
I had no idea just how screwy my computer can be. I'm actually using AOL version 4.0 right now...7.0 kept crashing repeatedly on me and my 6.0 CD had all sorts of scratches on it. So, I was stuck with 4.0...and on a dial-up modem, it takes about ninety million hours to upgrade. So yeah...it'll be 4.0 for a while...
In other news, I've got a tropical storm (possibly a hurricane) heading my way. So, it's quite possible that another lack of updates will occur over the next few days. Plus...my life is just a tad bit boring right now, what with school being a giant ball of stress and work being a never-ending tale of monotony (that's a word, right? It's a bit late...).
Check back in say, I dunno, a couple of lifetimes from now...yeah, then I might have something exciting to say.
I had no idea just how screwy my computer can be. I'm actually using AOL version 4.0 right now...7.0 kept crashing repeatedly on me and my 6.0 CD had all sorts of scratches on it. So, I was stuck with 4.0...and on a dial-up modem, it takes about ninety million hours to upgrade. So yeah...it'll be 4.0 for a while...
In other news, I've got a tropical storm (possibly a hurricane) heading my way. So, it's quite possible that another lack of updates will occur over the next few days. Plus...my life is just a tad bit boring right now, what with school being a giant ball of stress and work being a never-ending tale of monotony (that's a word, right? It's a bit late...).
Check back in say, I dunno, a couple of lifetimes from now...yeah, then I might have something exciting to say.
Thursday, September 19, 2002
Helloooo?
Two main reasons for the lack of updates lately: things have been hella busy and hella crazy. Between going to school, going to work, busting ass to get homework done, and dying from serious lack of sleep, I just haven't had many opportunities to sit down and get my thoughts in order. Also, it doesn't help that when you actually try to use your computer, it goes schizo and repeatedly crashes. Right now, this blog is being typed out of sheer luck...the hackers or viruses or whatever it is that we've got on this computer have apparently decided to take a short break. Don't worry though, I'm sure they'll be back soon. Anything new with me? Nope, just business as usual. I'm obviously still very single, as I tend to go on posting sprees when new boys enter my life. Disappointed? Nah, you shouldn't be...this is my life, you haven't grown accustomed to it yet?
What the hell's the matter with you?
Two main reasons for the lack of updates lately: things have been hella busy and hella crazy. Between going to school, going to work, busting ass to get homework done, and dying from serious lack of sleep, I just haven't had many opportunities to sit down and get my thoughts in order. Also, it doesn't help that when you actually try to use your computer, it goes schizo and repeatedly crashes. Right now, this blog is being typed out of sheer luck...the hackers or viruses or whatever it is that we've got on this computer have apparently decided to take a short break. Don't worry though, I'm sure they'll be back soon. Anything new with me? Nope, just business as usual. I'm obviously still very single, as I tend to go on posting sprees when new boys enter my life. Disappointed? Nah, you shouldn't be...this is my life, you haven't grown accustomed to it yet?
What the hell's the matter with you?
Sunday, September 15, 2002
Death To Sinuses
It's unbelievable to me just how much it sucks to have sinus problems. Wanna know my symptoms? Well, my head feels as if it weighs about as much as the Titanic, my eyes feel like someone is pushing on them from both the inside and the outside, and my nose is comparable to a never-ending stream. Just where in the heck does all this snot come from?? It's like my body has found some sort of snot reserve somewhere deep within me...and now that it's found it, it's intent on letting every ounce of it out of my body. Every sneeze feels like someone is taking a brick and smashing it into the back of my head while someone else gives me a swift kick in the face. Every cough feels like I'm going to hack up a wad of mucus the size of Texas. And every time I wipe my nose, it feels like I'm rubbing it with sandpaper.
And, of course, I have a paper due tomorrow. How in the heck am I supposed to analyze some damn poem when all I want to do is sleep for days? I curse you, English 102...I curse you up and down.
It's unbelievable to me just how much it sucks to have sinus problems. Wanna know my symptoms? Well, my head feels as if it weighs about as much as the Titanic, my eyes feel like someone is pushing on them from both the inside and the outside, and my nose is comparable to a never-ending stream. Just where in the heck does all this snot come from?? It's like my body has found some sort of snot reserve somewhere deep within me...and now that it's found it, it's intent on letting every ounce of it out of my body. Every sneeze feels like someone is taking a brick and smashing it into the back of my head while someone else gives me a swift kick in the face. Every cough feels like I'm going to hack up a wad of mucus the size of Texas. And every time I wipe my nose, it feels like I'm rubbing it with sandpaper.
And, of course, I have a paper due tomorrow. How in the heck am I supposed to analyze some damn poem when all I want to do is sleep for days? I curse you, English 102...I curse you up and down.
Saturday, September 14, 2002
The Day From Hell
Friday the 13th has never really been a day that's different from any other...I mean, who exactly decided that Friday the 13th should be the day that superstitions run rampant? But, whether or not Friday the 13th had anything to do with it, yesterday was the day from hell.
First thing, I woke up. Here I am, thinking it's not going to be too bad of a day...the agenda included going to classes, going to work, and possibly some socializing later in the evening. I walked outside to check on my kitten, Nutter Butter, because for the past couple of days he's been quite sick. My parents, the cheap and heartless bastards that they are, wouldn't allow me to take him to the vet...and I certainly can't afford a vet visit when I can barely pay my bills. So, he's been in some sort of a scuffle with some other animal...and he's been sick ever since, not eating or drinking a thing. So, backstory out of the way, I walked outside to find my kitty lying in a puddle of blood. I immediately started bawling my eyes out, wishing I had taken him to the vet, even though I'd never be able to foot the bill. Long and sad story short, Nutter Butter has passed on.
I'm pretty depressed about things by the time I make it to my English class. The teacher informs us that we'll be watching a movie...and what's the movie? Wit. Quite possibly the saddest movie ever. I choked back the tears several times throughout the class, not wanting to make a scene in front of all my stuck-up classmates. Of course, this movie has to do with the poem that we've been analyzing for an essay...and oh, what's the poem? Death Be Not Proud by John Donne. Yeah, let's just pour some salt on the wounds, mmmk?
As I'm walking to my next class, who should I see? My ex. Not just any old ex though, this is the ex that everyone dreads running into. But you know, I was going to swallow my pride, forget all the horrible things that have been said and done, and be sincere enough to say hello. I make eye contact, he realizes who I am...and he proceeds to give me the most horrible look that I've quite possibly ever seen. And of course, me being the loser that I am, I dart off in the other direction...yup, avoiding confrontation with him. Oh, but you can be certain that he won't be so lucky the next time I see him...
I get to my Spanish class...guess what? It's time for a quiz! Whoopee. So, I manage to do the best flunking that I can...and all the while, I'm having to restrain myself from having a complete and total emotional breakdown. I'm so upset at this point that I don't even bother going to my other two classes, which I'm sure I'll regret come Monday.
I decide to have lunch with one of my friends and her boyfriend...and on the way there, I give my mom a ring. Guess who is staying at our house tonight? Her father. Oh joy! And guess where he'll be sleeping? IN MY BED! And guess where I'll be sleeping? ON THE FLOOR OF THE OFFICE! At this point I'm wondering just what else could possibly go wrong...and as I'm sitting at a redlight, I'm waiting for some pedestrian to carjack me. Thankfully, I'm spared that and I make my way to lunch.
From there, the day got slightly better. Lunch was delicious and the company was a big help in uplifting me from the funk I was in. We made a stop by the pet store, where I ended up purchasing a cage, food, shavings, and a new gerbil. And yes, I know all the freaking jokes about gerbils...think what you want, it doesn't matter too much to me. Just know that that gerbil will never go anywhere near my ass, period. Fucking Richard Gere...
So, after setting up a new home for gerbil, I tried to decide on a name for him. At first, I thought that Nutter Butter would be appropriate, in honor of my dearly departed kitty...and that's when my friend points out how inappropriate that would be, in light of the whole Richard Gere stereotype. So, I compromise and his name is now Butters, halfway in honor of good ole Nutter Butter and halfway in honor of the hilariousness that is South Park.
Nothing much to report after that...I only went to work, came home to greet the man without a soul, and left again to escape his evil wrath. I drove around for quite a while, thinking back on the day's events and feeling really sorry for myself. Oh, what a day it was...
Friday the 13th has never really been a day that's different from any other...I mean, who exactly decided that Friday the 13th should be the day that superstitions run rampant? But, whether or not Friday the 13th had anything to do with it, yesterday was the day from hell.
First thing, I woke up. Here I am, thinking it's not going to be too bad of a day...the agenda included going to classes, going to work, and possibly some socializing later in the evening. I walked outside to check on my kitten, Nutter Butter, because for the past couple of days he's been quite sick. My parents, the cheap and heartless bastards that they are, wouldn't allow me to take him to the vet...and I certainly can't afford a vet visit when I can barely pay my bills. So, he's been in some sort of a scuffle with some other animal...and he's been sick ever since, not eating or drinking a thing. So, backstory out of the way, I walked outside to find my kitty lying in a puddle of blood. I immediately started bawling my eyes out, wishing I had taken him to the vet, even though I'd never be able to foot the bill. Long and sad story short, Nutter Butter has passed on.
I'm pretty depressed about things by the time I make it to my English class. The teacher informs us that we'll be watching a movie...and what's the movie? Wit. Quite possibly the saddest movie ever. I choked back the tears several times throughout the class, not wanting to make a scene in front of all my stuck-up classmates. Of course, this movie has to do with the poem that we've been analyzing for an essay...and oh, what's the poem? Death Be Not Proud by John Donne. Yeah, let's just pour some salt on the wounds, mmmk?
As I'm walking to my next class, who should I see? My ex. Not just any old ex though, this is the ex that everyone dreads running into. But you know, I was going to swallow my pride, forget all the horrible things that have been said and done, and be sincere enough to say hello. I make eye contact, he realizes who I am...and he proceeds to give me the most horrible look that I've quite possibly ever seen. And of course, me being the loser that I am, I dart off in the other direction...yup, avoiding confrontation with him. Oh, but you can be certain that he won't be so lucky the next time I see him...
I get to my Spanish class...guess what? It's time for a quiz! Whoopee. So, I manage to do the best flunking that I can...and all the while, I'm having to restrain myself from having a complete and total emotional breakdown. I'm so upset at this point that I don't even bother going to my other two classes, which I'm sure I'll regret come Monday.
I decide to have lunch with one of my friends and her boyfriend...and on the way there, I give my mom a ring. Guess who is staying at our house tonight? Her father. Oh joy! And guess where he'll be sleeping? IN MY BED! And guess where I'll be sleeping? ON THE FLOOR OF THE OFFICE! At this point I'm wondering just what else could possibly go wrong...and as I'm sitting at a redlight, I'm waiting for some pedestrian to carjack me. Thankfully, I'm spared that and I make my way to lunch.
From there, the day got slightly better. Lunch was delicious and the company was a big help in uplifting me from the funk I was in. We made a stop by the pet store, where I ended up purchasing a cage, food, shavings, and a new gerbil. And yes, I know all the freaking jokes about gerbils...think what you want, it doesn't matter too much to me. Just know that that gerbil will never go anywhere near my ass, period. Fucking Richard Gere...
So, after setting up a new home for gerbil, I tried to decide on a name for him. At first, I thought that Nutter Butter would be appropriate, in honor of my dearly departed kitty...and that's when my friend points out how inappropriate that would be, in light of the whole Richard Gere stereotype. So, I compromise and his name is now Butters, halfway in honor of good ole Nutter Butter and halfway in honor of the hilariousness that is South Park.
Nothing much to report after that...I only went to work, came home to greet the man without a soul, and left again to escape his evil wrath. I drove around for quite a while, thinking back on the day's events and feeling really sorry for myself. Oh, what a day it was...
Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Self Evident
I woke up late on September 11th, 2001. I slept in late that day because it was the first day that I had off since school had started back a few weeks before. As is my usual routine, I walked into the kitchen and fixed myself a glass of juice. Then, I headed back into my dad's office to use the computer. I signed on and was immediately welcomed by images of terror. At first, I didn't believe what I was reading...and it took me going into the living room and finding the same story on every television station to be convinced. I immediately began to cry and panic...and I called my mother.
She was at work, glued to the television. In between sobs, I asked her why she hadn't called me to wake me up when it happened...and I really can't remember what her explanation was, but I know it was pretty weak. We stayed on the phone for a long time, both of us fearing that it could be the last time we speak to each other. A couple of hours after the attacks, news reports began stating that the President was flying somewhere over Louisiana...and all I could picture was Air Force One as it came crashing down into my backyard. I feared for my life and the lives of all my loved ones that day...as did every other American.
Soon, things calmed down...the threat level diminished and people returned to what was left of their normal lives. I took the stance of many other Americans...I wanted revenge, I wanted payback, I wanted retribution. It seemed to be the only option at the time. But, about a month after the attacks, I had the opportunity to hear an amazing poem put to music...and it changed my view of the entire situation. So, that's the point of this post. Not to elloquently put to words the emotions I felt a year ago today...not to share some amazing story...and not to try to seem wiser than I actually am. I simply wanted to share this beautiful piece of poetry with you all.
Much love to you all. And to Ani...cheers, babe.
I woke up late on September 11th, 2001. I slept in late that day because it was the first day that I had off since school had started back a few weeks before. As is my usual routine, I walked into the kitchen and fixed myself a glass of juice. Then, I headed back into my dad's office to use the computer. I signed on and was immediately welcomed by images of terror. At first, I didn't believe what I was reading...and it took me going into the living room and finding the same story on every television station to be convinced. I immediately began to cry and panic...and I called my mother.
She was at work, glued to the television. In between sobs, I asked her why she hadn't called me to wake me up when it happened...and I really can't remember what her explanation was, but I know it was pretty weak. We stayed on the phone for a long time, both of us fearing that it could be the last time we speak to each other. A couple of hours after the attacks, news reports began stating that the President was flying somewhere over Louisiana...and all I could picture was Air Force One as it came crashing down into my backyard. I feared for my life and the lives of all my loved ones that day...as did every other American.
Soon, things calmed down...the threat level diminished and people returned to what was left of their normal lives. I took the stance of many other Americans...I wanted revenge, I wanted payback, I wanted retribution. It seemed to be the only option at the time. But, about a month after the attacks, I had the opportunity to hear an amazing poem put to music...and it changed my view of the entire situation. So, that's the point of this post. Not to elloquently put to words the emotions I felt a year ago today...not to share some amazing story...and not to try to seem wiser than I actually am. I simply wanted to share this beautiful piece of poetry with you all.
Much love to you all. And to Ani...cheers, babe.
Tuesday, September 10, 2002
Just Call Me A Stalker
Today was very interesting indeed. Aside from the fact that I bought my new favorite CDs in the world, I had the opportunity to make a complete and total fool of myself. Of course, I turned the opportunity down...'cause I'm a pussy when it comes to taking risks. My friend took me to her Chemistry class to scope out this cute boy who she thought could be my type. I was a little cautious because many people tend to misjudge my taste in boys...but damn, she was right on target. The boy was way cute, had style just like me, and was obviously gay. Well, not obvious in the sense that he was parading around with pride flags and such, but my radar had quite a few blips.
So, I scoped him out during the entire class...and I told myself that afterwards, I would go up to him and introduce myself. Of course, as I said before, I'm a pussy. I totally backed out at the last possible moment...and he walked off to his car, never to be seen by me again (unless I go back to class with my friend, of course). Now, before I had convinced myself to approach him, I had scribbled down my name and number on a scrap of paper...and I planned to somehow slip it to him during the course of conversation. And after he seemingly walked away forever, my friend and I decided to try to drive around to find him. Of course, I figured I wouldn't find him...and of course, he was in the car right in front of us.
So...we stalked him, much against my friend's better judgment. I planned on stopping at a redlight, getting his attention, and somehow getting that scrap of paper into his car. But, traffic posed some problems...and he ended up in a left turn lane and we ended up in the farthest right lane. How do we solve the problem? A super quick U-turn that eventually got us right behind him. I'm getting nervous at this point, thinking that I'm actually going to have to go through with this. And then, before we know it, he turns into a parking lot for an apartment complex. Not knowing what to do, we keep going.
About a block after he turns, we turn around...I think that we can go find his car, I'll discreetly leave my scrap of paper under his windshield wiper, and make a run for it. The only problem with this: he lives on the first floor and his doorway is made of glass. Not...good. So, the stalking comes to an end because I don't want to risk being caught.
I promise, I'm really not a frightening person all the time...
Today was very interesting indeed. Aside from the fact that I bought my new favorite CDs in the world, I had the opportunity to make a complete and total fool of myself. Of course, I turned the opportunity down...'cause I'm a pussy when it comes to taking risks. My friend took me to her Chemistry class to scope out this cute boy who she thought could be my type. I was a little cautious because many people tend to misjudge my taste in boys...but damn, she was right on target. The boy was way cute, had style just like me, and was obviously gay. Well, not obvious in the sense that he was parading around with pride flags and such, but my radar had quite a few blips.
So, I scoped him out during the entire class...and I told myself that afterwards, I would go up to him and introduce myself. Of course, as I said before, I'm a pussy. I totally backed out at the last possible moment...and he walked off to his car, never to be seen by me again (unless I go back to class with my friend, of course). Now, before I had convinced myself to approach him, I had scribbled down my name and number on a scrap of paper...and I planned to somehow slip it to him during the course of conversation. And after he seemingly walked away forever, my friend and I decided to try to drive around to find him. Of course, I figured I wouldn't find him...and of course, he was in the car right in front of us.
So...we stalked him, much against my friend's better judgment. I planned on stopping at a redlight, getting his attention, and somehow getting that scrap of paper into his car. But, traffic posed some problems...and he ended up in a left turn lane and we ended up in the farthest right lane. How do we solve the problem? A super quick U-turn that eventually got us right behind him. I'm getting nervous at this point, thinking that I'm actually going to have to go through with this. And then, before we know it, he turns into a parking lot for an apartment complex. Not knowing what to do, we keep going.
About a block after he turns, we turn around...I think that we can go find his car, I'll discreetly leave my scrap of paper under his windshield wiper, and make a run for it. The only problem with this: he lives on the first floor and his doorway is made of glass. Not...good. So, the stalking comes to an end because I don't want to risk being caught.
I promise, I'm really not a frightening person all the time...
Monday, September 02, 2002
Escapes
After all the drama, stress, and anxiety of the past week, I decided to escape it all by having a few drinks...big mistake, of course. I ended up quite drunk, which wasn't exactly as enjoyable as it usually is for me. Seeing as how I was just such an emotional wreck, I ended up sobbing my way through the night...and if it hadn't been for some great friends by my side and a sweetie from Kentucky, I'd probably still be crying as I type this entry. So, many thanks to them for sticking by me and not ridiculing me for being the crazy sap that I am...
If alcohol isn't the perfect escape for you, then I definitely recommend getting away from your life for a day or two. A few months back, I blogged about my trip to the swamp...and this weekend, I made my first trip back there since then. I almost forgot just how relaxing the whole atmosphere is down there...no worrying about who you've pissed off or what homework you have to do or what time you have to be at work. In fact, the only worries you have are keeping the mosquitoes away and finding a nice spot to watch the sun set over the bayou. Of course, there are the downfalls, too. Once you leave the swamp, you begin to realize just how dirty you've gotten in such a short time...and the shower at home just can't heat up fast enough.
But, all in all, I'd say escaping can be a pretty good thing...it's returning to your life afterwards that really bites the big one...
After all the drama, stress, and anxiety of the past week, I decided to escape it all by having a few drinks...big mistake, of course. I ended up quite drunk, which wasn't exactly as enjoyable as it usually is for me. Seeing as how I was just such an emotional wreck, I ended up sobbing my way through the night...and if it hadn't been for some great friends by my side and a sweetie from Kentucky, I'd probably still be crying as I type this entry. So, many thanks to them for sticking by me and not ridiculing me for being the crazy sap that I am...
If alcohol isn't the perfect escape for you, then I definitely recommend getting away from your life for a day or two. A few months back, I blogged about my trip to the swamp...and this weekend, I made my first trip back there since then. I almost forgot just how relaxing the whole atmosphere is down there...no worrying about who you've pissed off or what homework you have to do or what time you have to be at work. In fact, the only worries you have are keeping the mosquitoes away and finding a nice spot to watch the sun set over the bayou. Of course, there are the downfalls, too. Once you leave the swamp, you begin to realize just how dirty you've gotten in such a short time...and the shower at home just can't heat up fast enough.
But, all in all, I'd say escaping can be a pretty good thing...it's returning to your life afterwards that really bites the big one...
