Friday, January 31, 2003
Hoochie!
Ms. Hoochie! is here for the weekend...so you know it's gonna be straight up crazy-ass good times up in herre, up in herre. The following is a recap of the events so far...
J be saying, "So, we were searching out for somewhere to get our grub, ya feel?"
H be saying, "And we runt up on TGIFridays, ya dig?"
J: We takes our seats and we're sizing up this herre menu...
H: And this fella who bees our server, said his name be Richard, comes strolling on up.
J: And let me tell you, this boy be acting like a fool, true true.
H: He bees callin us ma'am n sir.
J: Okay, enough with the ghettoness, I get enough of it just living herre...I mean, here.
H: True dat...sorry, couldn't resist.
J: So my girl asks where the restroom is, politely and expecting a direct response.
H: He's all, "Where would you like them to be?" And I'm all, "What?" And he's all, "You know I'm into that freaky stuff...you know, right here, on my chest, oh baby oh baby."
J: So, I'm trying to keep a straight face, but I'm cracking up on the inside. And then he busts out with "Well, take a left over there, then a right, then a left..." and so on and so forth.
H: So, I go to the bathroom, watching over my shoulder to make sure he isn't close behind.
J: And I'm sitting at the table, hoping he won't come back with his freaky-ass fetishes.
H: We get through half of our meal...but watch out, here he comes again.
J: And he's all acting interested in both of us, but he's really only interested in Ms. Hoochie! "What kind of car do you drive?" "What's your major?" "Are you sure you won't piss on my chest?"...and I'm left to nibble on my fries.
H: So after he finally leaves us to finish our meal in peace, we both bust out laughing and mock the poor sap.
J: And then the gal who has seemingly misplaced her bladder today ditches me again for another round of Piss On My Chest in the bathroom...
H: Whatever, you're just jealous that he didn't want YOU to piss on his chest...
J: Oh yeah, that's it...so while she's gone, he comes back by the table to make sure that "we're cool." After a couple of minutes of reassuring him that "we're cool", Hoochie! makes it back to the table.
H: And I debate on whether to leave my number with the nasty, flirty boy...oh wait, no I didn't. That was in HIS dreams...
J: He makes one more stop by our table to wish us a good evening, shaking both of our hands and throwing in one final ass-kiss to Ms. Hoochie!..."I must say, you look fabulous tonight." Gaydar, beep beep beep!
H: And we depart, leaving the chap feeling rejected and dismissed, but with a pretty decent tip for giving us dinner AND a show.
J: Only with you does a simple thing like dinner turn into an event to remember. Hoochie!
H: Hoochie!
Ms. Hoochie! is here for the weekend...so you know it's gonna be straight up crazy-ass good times up in herre, up in herre. The following is a recap of the events so far...
J be saying, "So, we were searching out for somewhere to get our grub, ya feel?"
H be saying, "And we runt up on TGIFridays, ya dig?"
J: We takes our seats and we're sizing up this herre menu...
H: And this fella who bees our server, said his name be Richard, comes strolling on up.
J: And let me tell you, this boy be acting like a fool, true true.
H: He bees callin us ma'am n sir.
J: Okay, enough with the ghettoness, I get enough of it just living herre...I mean, here.
H: True dat...sorry, couldn't resist.
J: So my girl asks where the restroom is, politely and expecting a direct response.
H: He's all, "Where would you like them to be?" And I'm all, "What?" And he's all, "You know I'm into that freaky stuff...you know, right here, on my chest, oh baby oh baby."
J: So, I'm trying to keep a straight face, but I'm cracking up on the inside. And then he busts out with "Well, take a left over there, then a right, then a left..." and so on and so forth.
H: So, I go to the bathroom, watching over my shoulder to make sure he isn't close behind.
J: And I'm sitting at the table, hoping he won't come back with his freaky-ass fetishes.
H: We get through half of our meal...but watch out, here he comes again.
J: And he's all acting interested in both of us, but he's really only interested in Ms. Hoochie! "What kind of car do you drive?" "What's your major?" "Are you sure you won't piss on my chest?"...and I'm left to nibble on my fries.
H: So after he finally leaves us to finish our meal in peace, we both bust out laughing and mock the poor sap.
J: And then the gal who has seemingly misplaced her bladder today ditches me again for another round of Piss On My Chest in the bathroom...
H: Whatever, you're just jealous that he didn't want YOU to piss on his chest...
J: Oh yeah, that's it...so while she's gone, he comes back by the table to make sure that "we're cool." After a couple of minutes of reassuring him that "we're cool", Hoochie! makes it back to the table.
H: And I debate on whether to leave my number with the nasty, flirty boy...oh wait, no I didn't. That was in HIS dreams...
J: He makes one more stop by our table to wish us a good evening, shaking both of our hands and throwing in one final ass-kiss to Ms. Hoochie!..."I must say, you look fabulous tonight." Gaydar, beep beep beep!
H: And we depart, leaving the chap feeling rejected and dismissed, but with a pretty decent tip for giving us dinner AND a show.
J: Only with you does a simple thing like dinner turn into an event to remember. Hoochie!
H: Hoochie!
Tuesday, January 28, 2003
(No Fucking Title Here)
Well, this has all been a rough transition for me...the past week and a half has probably been the roughest of my life. But, things are starting to look up and get better...thank you, Jesus. I'm slowly meeting new people, getting comfortable with my surrounding, getting into the class routine, staying busy with schoolwork...the little bit of time that I have free is spent eating, sleeping, and talking to the two greatest gals on earth back home. Do I miss home? Hell yeah...familiarity, employment, and emotional stability are always taken for granted. But, I'm adjusting and doing what I can to make the best of all this. I figure that I'm here for a reason, whether it may be to get a better education or make some more lifelong friends or have my heart broken just one more time.
Oh wait...that last one already happened. Oh well...
Well, this has all been a rough transition for me...the past week and a half has probably been the roughest of my life. But, things are starting to look up and get better...thank you, Jesus. I'm slowly meeting new people, getting comfortable with my surrounding, getting into the class routine, staying busy with schoolwork...the little bit of time that I have free is spent eating, sleeping, and talking to the two greatest gals on earth back home. Do I miss home? Hell yeah...familiarity, employment, and emotional stability are always taken for granted. But, I'm adjusting and doing what I can to make the best of all this. I figure that I'm here for a reason, whether it may be to get a better education or make some more lifelong friends or have my heart broken just one more time.
Oh wait...that last one already happened. Oh well...
Friday, January 24, 2003
A Frightening Realization
Life can be so utterly stupid sometimes. You think you have it all figured out...that everything is in order or is at least starting to be...and then it happens: you wake up. You're suddenly faced with the fact that you don't have a damn thing figured out. And everything you thought you could count on, that you could rely on? It's suddenly not there...and you know what's scary? It probably never was.
Life can be so utterly stupid sometimes. You think you have it all figured out...that everything is in order or is at least starting to be...and then it happens: you wake up. You're suddenly faced with the fact that you don't have a damn thing figured out. And everything you thought you could count on, that you could rely on? It's suddenly not there...and you know what's scary? It probably never was.
Wednesday, January 22, 2003
Very Interesting...
Classes. Ok, so they're much different here than what I'm used to. The teachers seem much more relaxed and mellow for some reason...at least the one's I've had so far. I've still got two left today...and hopefully the teachers will be just as chill as all my others. See, "chill?" Ghettoness, seeping in...
My English class, it's supposed to be expository writing, right? Well, it is...but instead of the general expository writing, my professor decided it'd be fun to focus on a theme for the semester. What's the theme, you ask? "Unspeakable Thoughts, Unspeakable Acts: Post 9/11 Democratic Practice." Yeah...I'm so not into politics and that's what this whole freaking course is about. Wanna know the name of one of the texts? "Stupid White Men and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation." Yeah...
I also have a newswriting class, which is supposed to train me on how to do press releases and those sorts of things for the field I want to go into. The teacher's very sweet and very funny...and the class only has five other students in it so far. So yeah, I'm actually excited about a class, which is a major first for me.
And then there's psychology, being taught by a very attractive, young grad student. And know what else? It's a she. That's right, for the first time in a really long time, my jaw dropped (along with every other guy's in the class) when she walked in. And she's also very sweet and seems very cool...so maybe psych won't be as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
And anthropology? Well, my professor's a freak that talks about the University of Florida a whole damn lot...but the class seems like it could end up being pretty interesting. Also, I got to know two of my fellow classmates very well...and without even talking to them. Apparently, they both went to high school together...one's a lesbian, who lives with another lesbian, but they're NOT (extra stress on that "not") together. And the other one was married "to a miserable prickish bum", whom she cheated on with an airline pilot. No, I'm not kidding...
So, if anything, this is all turning out to be interesting...and who knows, maybe once I get settled into everything then things will start being what could be considered fun. I'm thinking positive, yup...
Classes. Ok, so they're much different here than what I'm used to. The teachers seem much more relaxed and mellow for some reason...at least the one's I've had so far. I've still got two left today...and hopefully the teachers will be just as chill as all my others. See, "chill?" Ghettoness, seeping in...
My English class, it's supposed to be expository writing, right? Well, it is...but instead of the general expository writing, my professor decided it'd be fun to focus on a theme for the semester. What's the theme, you ask? "Unspeakable Thoughts, Unspeakable Acts: Post 9/11 Democratic Practice." Yeah...I'm so not into politics and that's what this whole freaking course is about. Wanna know the name of one of the texts? "Stupid White Men and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation." Yeah...
I also have a newswriting class, which is supposed to train me on how to do press releases and those sorts of things for the field I want to go into. The teacher's very sweet and very funny...and the class only has five other students in it so far. So yeah, I'm actually excited about a class, which is a major first for me.
And then there's psychology, being taught by a very attractive, young grad student. And know what else? It's a she. That's right, for the first time in a really long time, my jaw dropped (along with every other guy's in the class) when she walked in. And she's also very sweet and seems very cool...so maybe psych won't be as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
And anthropology? Well, my professor's a freak that talks about the University of Florida a whole damn lot...but the class seems like it could end up being pretty interesting. Also, I got to know two of my fellow classmates very well...and without even talking to them. Apparently, they both went to high school together...one's a lesbian, who lives with another lesbian, but they're NOT (extra stress on that "not") together. And the other one was married "to a miserable prickish bum", whom she cheated on with an airline pilot. No, I'm not kidding...
So, if anything, this is all turning out to be interesting...and who knows, maybe once I get settled into everything then things will start being what could be considered fun. I'm thinking positive, yup...
Sunday, January 19, 2003
My Own Private Ghetto
So, I'm all moved. I still haven't really accepted the fact that I'm on my own again...it kinda feels like a really crappy vacation and that I'll be going home again soon. But, alas, I'm here...for a while.
Moving day wasn't anything eventful...just crowded and tiresome. You see, I'm all the way up on the fifth floor of this here dormitory...and that's just fine, except when you have extremely heavy things to carry up five flights of stairs. By the end of the day yesterday, I felt like my arms were going to fall off and that my legs were made entirely of Jell-O. It was definitely a workout, as I'm sure the daily climbs up and down the stairs will be. But, hey, maybe my legs will get some definition to them...
As far as the room...well, it's not glamorous by any standards. In fact, it's downright ugly. But, this just gives me something to do over the next couple of days until classes start up and I get into the swing of things. But just to give you an idea...some of the walls are made of cream-colored bricks, while others have some wonderful trailer-esque wood paneling. Oh, and did I mention that I have an overwhelming amount of electrical outlets? Not. I have a grand total of...get ready...two. Yup, two. In places that I have no real need for an electrical outlet. So, if I don't cause some sort of fire from the oodles of extension cords, it'll be a goddamn miracle.
And all of the people on my hall are so ghetto. Next time you hear from me, I'll be thugging or pimping or something...cross my heart. As I type this, I'm struggling to hear my own thoughts over the extremely loud rap music...and I'm wondering if the pounding in my head is from hitting my head in the shower this morning or from the constant bumping bass from my neighbors.
But, I promise, I'm making the best of it...
So, I'm all moved. I still haven't really accepted the fact that I'm on my own again...it kinda feels like a really crappy vacation and that I'll be going home again soon. But, alas, I'm here...for a while.
Moving day wasn't anything eventful...just crowded and tiresome. You see, I'm all the way up on the fifth floor of this here dormitory...and that's just fine, except when you have extremely heavy things to carry up five flights of stairs. By the end of the day yesterday, I felt like my arms were going to fall off and that my legs were made entirely of Jell-O. It was definitely a workout, as I'm sure the daily climbs up and down the stairs will be. But, hey, maybe my legs will get some definition to them...
As far as the room...well, it's not glamorous by any standards. In fact, it's downright ugly. But, this just gives me something to do over the next couple of days until classes start up and I get into the swing of things. But just to give you an idea...some of the walls are made of cream-colored bricks, while others have some wonderful trailer-esque wood paneling. Oh, and did I mention that I have an overwhelming amount of electrical outlets? Not. I have a grand total of...get ready...two. Yup, two. In places that I have no real need for an electrical outlet. So, if I don't cause some sort of fire from the oodles of extension cords, it'll be a goddamn miracle.
And all of the people on my hall are so ghetto. Next time you hear from me, I'll be thugging or pimping or something...cross my heart. As I type this, I'm struggling to hear my own thoughts over the extremely loud rap music...and I'm wondering if the pounding in my head is from hitting my head in the shower this morning or from the constant bumping bass from my neighbors.
But, I promise, I'm making the best of it...
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Go Think And Make Pretty
"You're the only one with a problem because you make it into a problem."
That's the lesson that I've learned this morning. It's really so simple and it was there all along, I just had to have someone give me a wake-up call. All of the drama that I'm dealing with right now is all mine...I made it into drama, instead of choosing to let it be something to brush off. All of my unhappiness, all of my frustrations, all of my resentment...all of it is my own fault. Instead of being a bigger person and moving on with my life, I chose to be brought back into situations that I didn't want to be a part of. And then, instead of relying on myself to make the situations better, I allowed my emotions to take over in order to "defend" myself. But I wasn't defending myself at all...I was attacking, giving those that attacked me exactly what they wanted. I was no longer an innocent party...I was just as guilty as the instigator.
I realize now that it was all pointless. When I got pushed around and knocked down, I should've gotten right back up on my feet. Instead of dusting myself off and moving on, I chose to stay down on the ground, to dwell on what was bad and wrong and hurtful. And I'm not gonna do that anymore. I'm not gonna make any more problems for myself because I've got enough to deal with as it is. From now on, I'm not gonna let things get to me so much. There are a lot of people in this world that will try to bring me down, but the best thing I can do for myself is to keep my head up high and stay strong. In the end, I'll come out of it as a better person, comfortable in my own skin. And what will they be? That's pretty uncertain...but let's hope that maybe they'll end up learning a thing or two, as well.
"You're the only one with a problem because you make it into a problem."
That's the lesson that I've learned this morning. It's really so simple and it was there all along, I just had to have someone give me a wake-up call. All of the drama that I'm dealing with right now is all mine...I made it into drama, instead of choosing to let it be something to brush off. All of my unhappiness, all of my frustrations, all of my resentment...all of it is my own fault. Instead of being a bigger person and moving on with my life, I chose to be brought back into situations that I didn't want to be a part of. And then, instead of relying on myself to make the situations better, I allowed my emotions to take over in order to "defend" myself. But I wasn't defending myself at all...I was attacking, giving those that attacked me exactly what they wanted. I was no longer an innocent party...I was just as guilty as the instigator.
I realize now that it was all pointless. When I got pushed around and knocked down, I should've gotten right back up on my feet. Instead of dusting myself off and moving on, I chose to stay down on the ground, to dwell on what was bad and wrong and hurtful. And I'm not gonna do that anymore. I'm not gonna make any more problems for myself because I've got enough to deal with as it is. From now on, I'm not gonna let things get to me so much. There are a lot of people in this world that will try to bring me down, but the best thing I can do for myself is to keep my head up high and stay strong. In the end, I'll come out of it as a better person, comfortable in my own skin. And what will they be? That's pretty uncertain...but let's hope that maybe they'll end up learning a thing or two, as well.
Monday, January 13, 2003
Packing Sucks, Yo
I spent the majority of my day today being very productive. I made all sorts of phone calls to the new school, getting all sorts of things like scholarships, financial aid, and registration in order. Then, I picked up some boxes from work so that I could start packing for the big move. And what did I do the rest of the day? I packed. And I cleaned. And that's it. It doesn't sound like much...but damn, I didn't realize how much shit I wanted to bring with me. CDs, DVDs, and books took up most of the space in my boxes...but then there are other random-ass things that I just can't live without. Add to that most of the clothes that I own...and jeez, I can't even see the floor on one side of my room. Then there's the stereo, computer, refrigerator, clothes hamper, TV...and how in the hell am I ever going to fit all this shit in my car at one time?
It's time to freak out, ladies and gents.
I'm so nervous and excited all at once...on one hand, I'm doing something exciting, going out on my own again and living independently. And then on the other hand, I'm doing something extremely scary, racking up bills left and right while still being temporarily unemployed. And then there's my man...the day I move there is our one-month anniversary. Didn't that work out nice? So, we'll be celebrating by lugging extremely heavy objects up what I'm sure will be many flights of stairs. Ah well, maybe it'll bring us even closer together. And plus...he'll be nice and hot and sweaty...and then maybe his muscles will ache and I can give him a massage...and then I'll shutup before I get way too carried away.
I spent the majority of my day today being very productive. I made all sorts of phone calls to the new school, getting all sorts of things like scholarships, financial aid, and registration in order. Then, I picked up some boxes from work so that I could start packing for the big move. And what did I do the rest of the day? I packed. And I cleaned. And that's it. It doesn't sound like much...but damn, I didn't realize how much shit I wanted to bring with me. CDs, DVDs, and books took up most of the space in my boxes...but then there are other random-ass things that I just can't live without. Add to that most of the clothes that I own...and jeez, I can't even see the floor on one side of my room. Then there's the stereo, computer, refrigerator, clothes hamper, TV...and how in the hell am I ever going to fit all this shit in my car at one time?
It's time to freak out, ladies and gents.
I'm so nervous and excited all at once...on one hand, I'm doing something exciting, going out on my own again and living independently. And then on the other hand, I'm doing something extremely scary, racking up bills left and right while still being temporarily unemployed. And then there's my man...the day I move there is our one-month anniversary. Didn't that work out nice? So, we'll be celebrating by lugging extremely heavy objects up what I'm sure will be many flights of stairs. Ah well, maybe it'll bring us even closer together. And plus...he'll be nice and hot and sweaty...and then maybe his muscles will ache and I can give him a massage...and then I'll shutup before I get way too carried away.
Sunday, January 12, 2003
Hoochie!
So, I partied last night.... H A R D. Since I'm moving away next weekend, it was a sort of celebration of my last weekend here. Me and two of my girlfriends (hoochies!) decided Bourbon Street would be a fun place to go to celebrate...so we braved the cold and the spotty rain, just so we could get our party on. We were there entirely too early, but that meant free admission and "superstar passes" from the Sexy Ex-Supervisor that I was once so sadly obsessed with (he works in Club 735 on Bourbon now). One margarita and four tequila sunrises later, I'm feeling quite happy...having a good ole time and getting my dance on. It was the first time I made friends with a bartender, a gal named Stephanie who kept calling me "baby" every time I ordered a drink. And I must say, a lot of the night is kinda foggy to me now, but I know I was dancing nasty-like...which is something that doesn't happen when I'm sober. Of course, I only danced with my two ladies...no bumping, grinding, or anything else with anybody else.
Of course, with all the stress and drama in my life right now (what with changing schools, moving away, starting a new relationship, and dealing with overly-dramatic, two-faced assholes), drinking as much as I did wasn't very smart. By the end of the night, I was pretty trashed and blabbing away. I called my guy to inform him that I was very scared of losing him and I hope that he'd never leave me...and he was as sweet as can be expected at 3 am. Of course, I ended up sobbing into the phone about how much I care for him and making a complete fool of myself as I walked back to my car...
Then, on the way home, I decided it'd be fun to indirectly tell someone how much I really don't appreciate them...whether or not they got the message has yet to be seen. Of course, then I ended up feeling like nothing but some horrible person for stooping down to their level...so I cried about that, too.
And then I got an unbelievable craving for some toast and butter...so I chowed down on four slices as I started nodding off to sleep in my kitchen, all the while telling my father that I was "okay." It's amazing that I got as plastered as I did and I wasn't even embarassed to admit it to him...even though I know I'll get teased about it for a while. And finally, around 5:30 this morrning, I made it into bed for a few hours of sleep.
All in all, I'd say it was a pretty good night. Good friends, good bar, good booze, good music...good times, yo.
So, I partied last night.... H A R D. Since I'm moving away next weekend, it was a sort of celebration of my last weekend here. Me and two of my girlfriends (hoochies!) decided Bourbon Street would be a fun place to go to celebrate...so we braved the cold and the spotty rain, just so we could get our party on. We were there entirely too early, but that meant free admission and "superstar passes" from the Sexy Ex-Supervisor that I was once so sadly obsessed with (he works in Club 735 on Bourbon now). One margarita and four tequila sunrises later, I'm feeling quite happy...having a good ole time and getting my dance on. It was the first time I made friends with a bartender, a gal named Stephanie who kept calling me "baby" every time I ordered a drink. And I must say, a lot of the night is kinda foggy to me now, but I know I was dancing nasty-like...which is something that doesn't happen when I'm sober. Of course, I only danced with my two ladies...no bumping, grinding, or anything else with anybody else.
Of course, with all the stress and drama in my life right now (what with changing schools, moving away, starting a new relationship, and dealing with overly-dramatic, two-faced assholes), drinking as much as I did wasn't very smart. By the end of the night, I was pretty trashed and blabbing away. I called my guy to inform him that I was very scared of losing him and I hope that he'd never leave me...and he was as sweet as can be expected at 3 am. Of course, I ended up sobbing into the phone about how much I care for him and making a complete fool of myself as I walked back to my car...
Then, on the way home, I decided it'd be fun to indirectly tell someone how much I really don't appreciate them...whether or not they got the message has yet to be seen. Of course, then I ended up feeling like nothing but some horrible person for stooping down to their level...so I cried about that, too.
And then I got an unbelievable craving for some toast and butter...so I chowed down on four slices as I started nodding off to sleep in my kitchen, all the while telling my father that I was "okay." It's amazing that I got as plastered as I did and I wasn't even embarassed to admit it to him...even though I know I'll get teased about it for a while. And finally, around 5:30 this morrning, I made it into bed for a few hours of sleep.
All in all, I'd say it was a pretty good night. Good friends, good bar, good booze, good music...good times, yo.
Thursday, January 09, 2003
Fuck Off =)
You know something that really irks my nerves? Tailgaters. No, I'm not talking about a bunch of drunken, football-obsessed freakshows...I'm talking about people who follow entirely too close to your car. And not just for a moment or two while they make their way through traffic, but mile after mile after mile. My theory is that all the annoying little bitch-asses in the world aren't satisfied with being jerks some of the time...they have to be jerks every moment of the day, even while they're driving. Hello? Let me clue you in: it's very simple for me to slam on my breaks, thereby causing you to collide with the back of my car, thereby causing you to pay oodles of money that you probably don't have, thereby making your life much more miserable than it already is. So, do yourself a favor...be kind and stay 5 feet behind, k?
And while you're at it? Fuck off...
You know something that really irks my nerves? Tailgaters. No, I'm not talking about a bunch of drunken, football-obsessed freakshows...I'm talking about people who follow entirely too close to your car. And not just for a moment or two while they make their way through traffic, but mile after mile after mile. My theory is that all the annoying little bitch-asses in the world aren't satisfied with being jerks some of the time...they have to be jerks every moment of the day, even while they're driving. Hello? Let me clue you in: it's very simple for me to slam on my breaks, thereby causing you to collide with the back of my car, thereby causing you to pay oodles of money that you probably don't have, thereby making your life much more miserable than it already is. So, do yourself a favor...be kind and stay 5 feet behind, k?
And while you're at it? Fuck off...
Wednesday, January 08, 2003
I Heart Lori
I've been an avid reader of this gal's journal for a long time...in fact, it was one of the first I ever started reading. Back when I started figuring out how to do links and all that sort of wonderful stuff, I had a nice link to her on my Recommended section. But, soon after I did that, she stopped updating...so I took her off. Anyhoo, long story short, she's been back to updating for a while...I just keep forgetting to add her back to my list. After reading this entry of hers a few minutes ago, however, I'm not only putting her back on the list...I'm putting her at the top of the list for articulating everything that I haven't been able to put into words.
Straight from Lori...
"See, in my theory, this is my webjournal, and if you don't like what I'm writing, then don't read it. It's really easy. It seems rare that I have an entry worth tuning in for anyway. I feel as if it's like someone watching HBO at 8pm everyday, and going to the producers of HBO and asking them to not air anything at that hour that you don't want to see. I'm sorry, don't come here at 8pm everyday then. Strange comparison, not sure if it even works, but you get my point. I was asked to "leave this person out" of my writing. Well, now that I've thought about it a bit...why? I talk about what goes on in my life and if there's a story that's worth writing about, I tend to tell it."
"However, when someone kindly asks to be left out of it, do you? I guess it depends. Sure, you can try. It's hard. I mean, this is the fun place to bitch, to get shit out. Hard to avoid it. There are issues of respect going on here. I think I can make a deal on this, a little self rule. I will try to respect the wishes of those who ask to be left out if I am not disrespected myself. If something happens where I'm pissed off and disrespected, then no respect is deserved in return and on you are. I don't name names - I STILL don't see what the big deal is."
Amen, sistah.
I've been an avid reader of this gal's journal for a long time...in fact, it was one of the first I ever started reading. Back when I started figuring out how to do links and all that sort of wonderful stuff, I had a nice link to her on my Recommended section. But, soon after I did that, she stopped updating...so I took her off. Anyhoo, long story short, she's been back to updating for a while...I just keep forgetting to add her back to my list. After reading this entry of hers a few minutes ago, however, I'm not only putting her back on the list...I'm putting her at the top of the list for articulating everything that I haven't been able to put into words.
Straight from Lori...
"See, in my theory, this is my webjournal, and if you don't like what I'm writing, then don't read it. It's really easy. It seems rare that I have an entry worth tuning in for anyway. I feel as if it's like someone watching HBO at 8pm everyday, and going to the producers of HBO and asking them to not air anything at that hour that you don't want to see. I'm sorry, don't come here at 8pm everyday then. Strange comparison, not sure if it even works, but you get my point. I was asked to "leave this person out" of my writing. Well, now that I've thought about it a bit...why? I talk about what goes on in my life and if there's a story that's worth writing about, I tend to tell it."
"However, when someone kindly asks to be left out of it, do you? I guess it depends. Sure, you can try. It's hard. I mean, this is the fun place to bitch, to get shit out. Hard to avoid it. There are issues of respect going on here. I think I can make a deal on this, a little self rule. I will try to respect the wishes of those who ask to be left out if I am not disrespected myself. If something happens where I'm pissed off and disrespected, then no respect is deserved in return and on you are. I don't name names - I STILL don't see what the big deal is."
Amen, sistah.
Sunday, January 05, 2003
I'm Nothing But A Schoolgirl At Heart
The simple things in a relationship are always the most amazing to me. I don't care about any expensive gifts or eventful dates or poetic/impressive words about how you feel...those things are nice, but so not important. Being able to hang out with someone, without feeling awkward or having conversation gaps, that's what is important to me. Today I spent the afternoon and early evening with my special guy...and he continues to confirm to me just how great he is. He holds my hand as we drive around...we jam and bob our heads to the same songs...he plays footsie with me when we're at the movies. I know it probably all seems very juvenile or high school to some of you...but hell, I didn't get those things in high school, so I guess that's why I get such a big kick out of them now.
I feel so lucky to have ever met this boy. He's made my life so much happier and so much brighter that I can't even remember what it was like before I met him about a month ago. Jeez...it's been almost a month now since I met him. On one hand, it feels like the month has flown by...and on the other, it feels like it's just been creeping by at the speed of a snail. Of course, when we're together, the time flies...and when we're apart, all I can do is look forward to seeing him again, which makes the time go by even more slowly. And it's hard to believe that, in less than two weeks, we'll be living in the same city. Then, I suppose, we'll see just how well things work out. But, as happy as I am now, I'm thinking that things are only going to get better from here...
The simple things in a relationship are always the most amazing to me. I don't care about any expensive gifts or eventful dates or poetic/impressive words about how you feel...those things are nice, but so not important. Being able to hang out with someone, without feeling awkward or having conversation gaps, that's what is important to me. Today I spent the afternoon and early evening with my special guy...and he continues to confirm to me just how great he is. He holds my hand as we drive around...we jam and bob our heads to the same songs...he plays footsie with me when we're at the movies. I know it probably all seems very juvenile or high school to some of you...but hell, I didn't get those things in high school, so I guess that's why I get such a big kick out of them now.
I feel so lucky to have ever met this boy. He's made my life so much happier and so much brighter that I can't even remember what it was like before I met him about a month ago. Jeez...it's been almost a month now since I met him. On one hand, it feels like the month has flown by...and on the other, it feels like it's just been creeping by at the speed of a snail. Of course, when we're together, the time flies...and when we're apart, all I can do is look forward to seeing him again, which makes the time go by even more slowly. And it's hard to believe that, in less than two weeks, we'll be living in the same city. Then, I suppose, we'll see just how well things work out. But, as happy as I am now, I'm thinking that things are only going to get better from here...
Thursday, January 02, 2003
Taking A Stand
I've always been the sort of person that finds it very simple to write people off, whether it's for being simple-minded or arrogant or some other unflattering characteristic. But, I've also never been afraid to stand up for myself. I don't know where it comes from...my parents are both very laid-back and very anti-conflict. But lately, I've allowed myself to be degraded, to be stepped all over, to be made a mockery of...and that's just not me. I've always been very defensive, never allowing anyone to get in any cheap shots or quick jabs at my expense. It's not that I care what they or others think of me...it all boils down to having dignity and pride. Why should I allow someone to attempt to bring me down, to ruin my day, to make me feel bad? I shouldn't. EVER. And I'm disappointed in myself for allowing it to happen over the past couple of months.
I realize that people are insecure and lash out at/about others to compensate for those insecurities. But you know what? I don't give a crap about psychological reasoning behind other people's asinine actions. There is simply no excuse for behaving like a fool. Have issues? I don't care. Jealous? I don't care. Just plain bitchy? I DON'T CARE! Weren't you taught how to be a normal, self-respecting, polite individual? Or did you forget all about The Golden Rule?? Let me remind you: treat others the way you want to be treated. And while I'm at it, let me remind of my own personal golden rule: don't talk shit and don't disrespect me, unless you REALLY want to be put in your place. Also, it's usually really smart to keep your mouth shut about other people when they have lots of dirt on you...
Ok, I just needed to vent a little...and I'm done.
I've always been the sort of person that finds it very simple to write people off, whether it's for being simple-minded or arrogant or some other unflattering characteristic. But, I've also never been afraid to stand up for myself. I don't know where it comes from...my parents are both very laid-back and very anti-conflict. But lately, I've allowed myself to be degraded, to be stepped all over, to be made a mockery of...and that's just not me. I've always been very defensive, never allowing anyone to get in any cheap shots or quick jabs at my expense. It's not that I care what they or others think of me...it all boils down to having dignity and pride. Why should I allow someone to attempt to bring me down, to ruin my day, to make me feel bad? I shouldn't. EVER. And I'm disappointed in myself for allowing it to happen over the past couple of months.
I realize that people are insecure and lash out at/about others to compensate for those insecurities. But you know what? I don't give a crap about psychological reasoning behind other people's asinine actions. There is simply no excuse for behaving like a fool. Have issues? I don't care. Jealous? I don't care. Just plain bitchy? I DON'T CARE! Weren't you taught how to be a normal, self-respecting, polite individual? Or did you forget all about The Golden Rule?? Let me remind you: treat others the way you want to be treated. And while I'm at it, let me remind of my own personal golden rule: don't talk shit and don't disrespect me, unless you REALLY want to be put in your place. Also, it's usually really smart to keep your mouth shut about other people when they have lots of dirt on you...
Ok, I just needed to vent a little...and I'm done.
Wednesday, January 01, 2003
Happy 2003!!
I've never been one to make any resolutions for the year...it just always seems sort of pointless, you know? The majority of people set these goals, these sometimes unbelievably unattainable goals, only to find themselves down in the dumps at the end of the year, simply because they didn't accomplish the one thing they said they would. It sucks, which is why I always avoided it. So, this year I'm gonna try it out and see how things go. Of course, you gotta take baby steps...so no unattainable goals, no high standards, no extremely impossible feats. Instead, I have but one simple resolution: to be happy. Nothing else, just simply happiness. On December 31, 2003, I want to look back on the year with no regrets...and I want to smile from ear to ear. Not because I lost thirty pounds on some new diet or because I gave up some sort of unhealthy food or because I made myself work out more or whatever...but just because I'm happy with my life and that I don't feel that the entire year was a waste of time and space.
Wish me luck.
I've never been one to make any resolutions for the year...it just always seems sort of pointless, you know? The majority of people set these goals, these sometimes unbelievably unattainable goals, only to find themselves down in the dumps at the end of the year, simply because they didn't accomplish the one thing they said they would. It sucks, which is why I always avoided it. So, this year I'm gonna try it out and see how things go. Of course, you gotta take baby steps...so no unattainable goals, no high standards, no extremely impossible feats. Instead, I have but one simple resolution: to be happy. Nothing else, just simply happiness. On December 31, 2003, I want to look back on the year with no regrets...and I want to smile from ear to ear. Not because I lost thirty pounds on some new diet or because I gave up some sort of unhealthy food or because I made myself work out more or whatever...but just because I'm happy with my life and that I don't feel that the entire year was a waste of time and space.
Wish me luck.
